What Evil Terrorizes You? The Inside review!

Hasn’t the hand held first person camera run it’s course? The recently popular method has been criticized as shaky, unintelligible, headache inducing, and over abused. I agree with that criticism as well, but I find there lies a bit of realism in the corners of each the richly blindingly dark and snowy static scenes of a hand held camera.

The Inside is the next flick to hop on the hand held bandwagon. A young man purchases a second hand video camera at a pawnshop and discovers that the tape is still inside the camera. He plays back to footage of five girls out on the town for one of their own’s 21st birthday party. The girls break in to an abandoned undisclosed location for a little wild times, but three vagrants break up their fun and unleash terror upon them. But when the vagrants think they have the upper hand, a supernatural evil falls upon the girls and themselves leaving all of them to fend for themselves against pure evil. When the man finishes the tape, he retraces the girls steps in search of what caused their demise.

theinside

While the shaky hand cam has more realism than any third person perspective, a great backbone of a story can make the film all the sweeter, but The Inside has a flimsy plot line that doesn’t explain what kind of evil forces these girls are dealing with nor can be explained what this “Grave Digger,” as IMDB.com has labeled the character, has gruesomely bestowed upon the victims. Perhaps the take away from this movie is that people disappear without a trace all the time and this could be a theory to how and why…? But glimpses of Satanic pentagram symbols sprayed on the wall and quick visions of Satanic goats are being tapped into the camera’s signal, which I don’t think is the correct type of signal. But this confirms some kind of ritualistic satanic practices being held and, perhaps, going terribly and horribly wrong. I feel there should be a prequel to The Inside to give us a little more insight into who or what the “Grave Digger” is.

What behoves the story to maintains a chilly manner was to keep the characters portraying like horror ignorant idiots. For example, the young man, played by director Eoin Macken himself, who bought the camera decides to retrace the girls’ steps and investigate by himself. Why not turn in the camera to the authorities after witness physical assault, rape, and supernatural evil terror of the girls? This man was not superhuman, but much rather a bum looking to pawn of his wedding ring – we aren’t privy to his background either and have to deduce what we see to come to some kind of half-cocked conclusion.

theinside2

Amongst all the chaos and confusion after the supernatural shit hits the fan, the movie takes a 180 degree turn in the other direction and no longer are we invited guests at a party or the voyeurs of a perverse snuff film, but a survivor ourselves. However, the sound is much to hectic to make any comprehendible sense. All that I knew for sure was when the “Grave Digger” was about to make an appearance – a baby wailed and there was an electronic hum – which made an unfitting tell of his whereabouts, but the “Grave Digger” was an interesting looking character despite his mysterious background and his grimly cryptic intentions. He’s naked and covered and blood – if you’ve ever seen Shallow Ground then you might have a clear representation of what I’m talking about.

Much like most hand held camera movies, The Inside is no different or nothing much more special. There is an open ending, which is a common characteristic of films like these which has to do with the realism factor once again. The Inside will chill your spine, yet you won’t figure out why it chills your spine in the first place. Check it for yourself by buying your copy of The Inside at Monster Pictures.com

Evil Nymphomaniac Alligator Women! Repligator!

repligator

Tired of trying to comprehend a director’s secretive meaning behind his scenes? Tired of trying to solve the mysterious puzzle that opens the life or death box? Tired of the reverse scenes that attempt to tell the story without having to be linear? Sometimes these filmmaking artistic techniques become too tiresome leaving you weary eyed and frustrated. Sometimes scenes just need to be clear cut, plain-jane simple, and meticulously mindless. You’re in luck because Repligator is just that – no hidden meanings, no twisted edited, and no problem solving that requires a T-Model calculator.

A classified military experiment, involving the idea of a G.I soldier being replicated to double the military infantry numbers without recruitment, has gone array as the replicator turns the strong, gun-ho male privates into brain-washed nymphomaniac women who much rather expose their privates. Also, when these women experience the slightest orgasm, they transform into scaly, mutant alligators and once bitten by one of these alligator women, their victims turn into homosexual zombies! Wait…what?

repligator1

Yeah, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the premise of this erotica laden, senseless film (if you want to call it that) by budget director Bret McCormick. I had pre-determined that Repligator had a simple plot – military experience turns women into alligators – but I was incorrect. And just for the record, the alligators are more like rejected raptor prop heads from Jurassic Park resembling nothing like an alligator. The writing is so over the board that I’m pretty sure the amped up hyper Richard Simmons wrote the script.

I’m still trying to comprehend the gay zombies; at least I’m pretty sure the gator-bitten victims were turned into gay zombies as they ignored the advances, and pretty much everything else, of the half naked women and not the male leads. Speaking on the subject of half naked women, the legs with breast weren’t too shabby for this mid-90s late night creature feature that might have once been given a showing or two on the Syfy channel.

repligator2

I shouldn’t pass on discussing Gunnar Hansen’s role in Repligator; Hansen may headline the movie, but his role is minimal as scientists telling a story of how everything went wrong. He isn’t wielding any Texas Chainsaws here even though there was a little homage for him in the opening credits. Scream queen Brinke Stevens also didn’t have much of a starring role. Stevens scene was rather pointless toward the whole of the plot, but I’m not surprised considering the film is called Repligator.

repligator3

Plain and simple, Repligator bares nothing special, yet somehow manages to bare all at the same time. You won’t have to think too hard to get the concept, yet you’ll be confused at the end. This enigmatic movie challenges all the laws of physics without even spitting out a correct mathematical formula. See what I’m talking about by purchasing your copy today at MVD Entertainment Group!

Evil Bobble Head! Zombie!!!

Now this item will go fast! Aggronautix.com has for pre-order a collector’s item that you can’t resist – a Lucio Fulci ZOMBIE bobble head!!! This 7-inch tall, polyresin bobble head is a limited edition 1,000 count figurine that will be include a numbered packaging and will ship out April 23rd. The price isn’t too shabby at all either with a $24.98 price tag at Aggronautix.com. Check it below.
zombiebobble

Kevin Bacon and the Evil Cult! The Following (Eps. 6 review)

Got around finally to watching the sixth episode of Kevin Williamson’s The Following last night on On Demand and we’re back to ground zero with how The Following should play out as a suspenseful horror thriller with numerous twists, baffling betrayals, and many hooks to keep the audience intrigued and drooling until next Monday. Ryan Hardy, when back into a corner, transforms into possum as his curls his lip revealing his vicious teeth – a side of Hardy we have yet to experience.

Paul: “Tie him up!”
Ryan: Yes, tie me up, but if you get within two feet of me I will break your neck and crack your spine.”
Paul: “Then I will shoot you!”
Ryan: “And his neck will be broken and his spine will be cracked.”
Paul: “And you’ll be dead!”
Ryan: “And his neck will be broken and his spine will be cracked.”

ryanhardy

This episode drives in the last nail making certain that we, the audience, can’t trust a single soul – who is in this cult and/or who will betray who within a group – and that distrust amongst the factions will keep life in this show. Also, the mysterious Rodrigo who orchestrates behind the scenes has me starting to wonder that we may know already who this person is and that the other cult followers perhaps don’t know as Charlie, Claire’s ‘follower,’ had stated in his own words that each member of Carroll’s crew doesn’t know who each other and that their roles were specific. If I had to take a wild guess, Rodrigo is Agent Debra Parker and this episodes leave a little taste of my hypothesis. However, my theory could be dead wrong which is hard to believe, I know.

Our killer threesome has for now disbanded into a massive betrayal by Emma’s character as she leaves her two male companions to fend for themselves against the closing in FBI. What’s Emma’s plan with Joey? Most likely her specific role is to be the protector of Joey as she displayed in the later half of the episode as a human bullet shield. Rodrigo had likely instructed Emma to escape from Paul and Jacob while friends of Rodrigo infiltrate and kill a couple of the FBI Swat team and extract Paul and Jacob from the clutches of the FBI.

Lots going on and the next episode shapes up to be thrilling as well. Let’s all hope.

Evil Loves this MK Mousepad!

I’m a long time Mortal Kombat fan, ever since the original MK was released on the Genesis – yes – the Genesis for you 13, 14, 15, 16 year olds. Sub-Zero all the way! And by the way, this post is not definitely not for those age ranges. The character Princess Kitana always had an appeal whether the appeal was her Japanese steel fans or her massive sex appeal with her scantily clad outfit. But if you’re just a big fan of Kitana, than this will certainly appeal more to her sexual side as we’re introduced to a 3-D mousepad of the Princess.

What makes it 3-D you ask? We’ll her Princess rack, duh! Her weapons are popping up so you can comfortably rest your wrist right on top or in between them. I’m sure there will be users who will do more to this product than I’m will to share here in my post. But check this baby out because the product, despite it’s sexist nature, is fantastic and you can find it, and many more like it and more explicit than it, on Amazon.com.

Maybe this will help with your carpal tunnel syndrome?

Maybe this will help with your carpal tunnel syndrome?

Finish Her!