Category Archives: Schlocky

This EVIL Thanksgiving Bird Has Been Overcooked. “Amityville Turkey Day” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Amityville Turkey Day” – That’s No Cranberry Sauce! Check Out the DVD Here!

Rocco, a sleazy indie film director, is given one last project to director with the stipulation of not to squander the funds and to make a competent hit movie without completely making principal photography a nightmare for the cast and crew.  Having landed a large estate to shoot his film, the house comes with a manservant named Bram to take care of their needs and see to the estate grounds.  When a man-eating Turkey from Hell, embodied by the evil soul of once infamous doctor, comes home for Thanksgiving dinner, Bram aims to curate a fine feast for the abrasive, wicked bird from the indie film production.  As cast and crew begin to dwindle down and disappear, the show-running producer takes charge to motivate and take care of the slipping through the cracks mess of, yet again, another Rocco botched production.  Yet, the turkey still hungers and when all the excess meat is consumed, he will then find a human mate to reincarnate himself for human form. 

After promising myself, swearing up and down, that I would never, ever watch and review another Amityville titled infused film again, “Amityville Turkey Day” had sucked me right back in, like a moth to the flame into another mindless and pointless, could I even call it this, money-grabbing exploitation of the Amityville title letdown of a holiday-comedy horror film.  The 2024, microbudget Thanksgiving themed sequel to “Amityville Thanksgiving” brings back the writing-and-directing duo of Will Collazo Jr. (“Amityville Shark House,” “Amityville Apocalypse”) and Julie Anne Prescott (indie film scream-queen of “The Amityville Harvest” and “Amityville Thanksgiving”) to add a little more sanguine stuffing in their continuation of a terrorizing wild Turkey.  Alternatively known as “Amityville Thanksgiving 2,” the feature is an indiegogo crowdfunded campaign that raised the $10,000 goal and became a Will Collazo Jr.’s Cult Cinema production.

The sequel doesn’t return most of the cast from the film.  Most sequels don’t, right?  Instead, a whole new batch of rough puff principals are basted over the story to try and moisten the flavor of a rather rough-and-ready follow-up.  Amongst the medley filled in with B-movie talent, there doesn’t seem to be a one standout lead role to take charge in what is more of convergence of counterproductive parts that overlap and overstep each other’s storyline.  Characters also disappear and reappear without context to about where they were and where they go, for example the sleazy director Rocco (Michael Ruggiere) vanishes for most of the story’s midriff and then just reappears in the third act without a sense of where he’s been.  Erica Dyer (“The Town Without Halloween,” “Attack of the Corn Zombies”) plays one of the few characters with an actual intact arc as the pissed off producer Ivy who storms in and takes charge of Rocco’s quickly deteriorating production, proving to be a competent leader to quickly organize the film crew into action, but as cast and crew begin to drop like flies and vanishing from the estate set within the Thanksgiving week, Ivy’s honed in focus doesn’t register the killer Turkey, voiced by Steven Kiseleski (“Amityville Karen,” “Amityville Bigfoot”), and it’s righthand caretaker Bram (Dino Castelli, “Screamwalkers”) slowly filleting the filmmakers for feasting.  A large portion of the character pie is throwaway fodder for the Turkey with only a couple of others to stand out with pointed out substance, that also point back to “Amityville Thanksgiving, with Kevin (Tim Hatch, “Amityville in Space, and the other actor to return from “Amityville Thanksgiving) on a mission to find out what happened to his sister from “Amityville Thanksgiving,” and his planted actress friend Jessica (Jen Elyse Feldy, “The Elder Hunters,” “Camp Blood 666 Part 2”), but their roles do get lost in the fray of the frenzied packed, plot hole-riddled storyline that crams in too much too hastily inside a jerry-built and unnecessary tale.  David Perry, Clint Beaver, Amanda Flowers, Shannon Hall, Jeff Webb, Thomas J. O’Brien, Ralph Rey, James Janso, Stephen Bloodworth, and the late Mark C. Fullhardt, to which this film is dedicated to, fill out as the at will Turkey fodder. And I hope all my listings of “Amityville” named films has brought awareness to this exploitative issue!

“Amityville Turkey Day” is no “Thankskilling.”  Jordan Downey has mastered the smack-talking, rude-with-tude, killer Turkey in style, substance, and outrageous kills.  Will Collazo Jr.’s film feels more like a cheap knockoff to the likes of the Italian unauthorized remakes, sequels, and spinoffs of American films of the 1980s, attaching the Amityville name to draw attention and sponge off the legitimate franchise that has now become a disgusting and disheartening running joke and parody of unoriginality. “Amityville Turkey Day” mirrors every ounce of that last sentiment with a shoddy, low rent feature that not only drags the Amityville title deeper into the overkill mud but also hurts the exposure of Jordan Downey’s “Thankskilling” to those viewers who do get their unsuspecting hands onto Collazo’s film first and leaves a residual bad taste toward more competent Turkey trot terrorizers.  That bitterness is contributed by the lack of story structure and coherency, a lost sense of unique personality and entertainment, and a brutal monotone flow that stagnates upon just one setting over the course of a few days, which is a major gap considering the film crew disappearing here and there during that time and no one happens to care or even hardly notice.  Comedy elements fall flat, reduced to fart and sexual gags and missing-the-mark cheap insults surrounded by dull kills, especially for a Turkey that goes for the juggler.  Very few moments of levity and intrigue can be pulled from “Amityville Turkey Day” with the puppeteered evil Turkey lobbing an occasional humorous one liner – “Look at all that blood!  She’s a squirter!” – and the manifested closet gimp is too strange of a guilty-allure to ignore, and these few and far in between bright spots add a layer of color to what is dull overall. 

The crowdfunded clucker had arrived just in time for this year’s Thanksgiving courtesy of indie film friendly distributor SRS Cinema.  “Amityville Turkey Day” is housed on an MPEG2 encoded, 480p resolution, 5 gigabyte DVD-R.  According to the crowdfunding page, Collazo offered an all-around bigger and better experience from the bareboned, nearly no-budget, precursor, yet the sequel didn’t live up to expectations and appeared to be more of the same slapdash as the first and this translates to a writeable DVD disc with a fuzzy picture, smoothed edges, and plenty of posterization and banding that digs the grave deeper for this overdone bird.  The ungraded picture produces unnatural lighting from a series of gelled flood lights, more so with deep red, aimed upward to evoke thicker upper shadow positions.  What the result constitutes with the unhelpful lower resolution camera is an overly hot and overly diffused image in what would be Turkey and Bram basement scheming scenes that renders any leftover details washed away from the effect.  The English LPCM 2.0 mono track is a flat fixture via the onboard microphone on the digital camera that creates an anemic dialogue presence with subtle distortion.  Range consists of post-production sound effects and the close quartered rooms of the “estate” has depth pretty much nonexistent.  I will say dialogue is prominent and clear though higher decibels overtake and clip the microphone’s volume intake.  English subtitles are optionally available. The release’s special features include a director’s commentary, a making-of behind-the-scenes, the original trailer, and other SRS Cinema prevuews. Aside from an enticing illustrated cover art, the DVD has no other supplemental cover art, inserts, and etc. “Amityville Turkey Day” has a runtime of 93 minutes, is region free, and comes not rated.

Last Rites: “Amityville Turkey Day” is difficult to gobble up. In fact, “Amityville Turkey Day” is much like having to go to your great Aunt’s house for a third Thanksgiving dinner of the day, the one that is the family’s black sheep, wears a muumuu, and her house smells like cheap cigarettes and cat dandruff, it’s a hard no thank you.

“Amityville Turkey Day” – That’s No Cranberry Sauce! Check Out the DVD Here!

At Odds With Each Other Can’t Stop the EVIL That’s Coming for Them! “House of Dolls” reviewed! (VMI Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.

Estranged sisters Jenn, Diana, and Adalene are summoned to reunite by their dying father.  Greeted by their grandmother and a lawyer informing them of an inheritance within their father’s will, the verbally combative sisters are more than eager for their fair share of the will and be happy to never see each other again as they go on with their lives, but the will’s stipulation states the sisters must work together and revitalize the long severed kinship within the walls of his hand-built estate, a life-size representation of a doll house constructed for the love of his life where clues to their inheritance lie hidden inside.  Before even the first ounce of hope to mend their broken bond, one of the sisters is found brutally murdered in one of garish rooms and a masked maniac hunts for not only the two remaining sisters but also those close to them outside the house of dolls.

Juan Sala’s “House of Dolls” is the return to horror for the Texas taught director since his urban-thriller “Alp” in 2016 and the first independent story helmed that didn’t involve Sala’s going pen-to-paper with a script.  That task was handled by another Texas film school graduate, Iv Amenti, in her first feather length screenwriter credit aimed to label itself as a mystery-slasher under the guise of grueling family rejuvenation.  The 2023 released film’s story was shot on location in Los Angeles with Juan Salas solo producing the feature.  Salas is no stranger producing his own work as he’s done with most of his own repertoire (“The Triple D,” “The Wolf Catcher,” and “The Devil’s Ring”) while also branching out occasionally to support and/or fund other creative minds, such as with Brian King’s “Hell of a Night.”  Polar Bear Films produced the film along with Vantage Media International, or VMI Worldwide, who produced and distributed the film.

Powering “House of Dolls” vessel into explicit view is headliner Dee Wallace.  The “Cujo” and “Critters” scream queen has been on a junket of mom-and-pop productions for the better part of the last decade for aspiring horror filmmakers to leech off that eye-catching and weight-bearing Dee Wallace name.  Wallace reminds me of Linnea Quigley once said in an interview, if producers meet her price, she’ll star in pretty much anything.  Wallace seemingly has the same philosophy with a continuous stream of projects that screen her for no more than a total of 15-minutes, tops.  While this works to an extent, based off the prominence or the memorability of the role, most of that bankable name and face do little elevating the film, resulting in just a paycheck performance.  Sure, Wallace’s fans will check it out for the sake of Dee Wallace but for “House of Dolls,” as with the story or just as with the entity of the film, the gimmick doesn’t leave a mark.  The plot crux favors the three bickering sisters, Adalene (Violeta Ortega), Jenn (Stephanie Troyak), and Diana (Alicia Underwood).  Sibling diverging personalities uphold their seething hate for each other, that is much as obvious, but for what specific reason is never unfolded, or is unfolded but made unclear in the wake of its untidy heap.  What’s definingly unclear is the mother of these unlikeable brats.  Mentions of individually owning the unfortunate event of a mother’s death makes the ambiguous ruling that there is at least one half-sister.  They could all be half-sisters, but the unbridled dialogue and no conveyed backstory strays away from important pieces of the puzzle that make it as frustrating as trying to match a 2D puzzle piece within a 3D puzzle scheme.  The story also incorporates flimsy relationships with the sisters, Jenn’s drug buddy Justin (Jack Rain) who unexpectantly arrives with the sisters at their father’s estate, Adalene’s semi-sweet boyfriend Caleb (Phil Blevins), Diana’s vague friendzone coworker or perhaps boyfriend Lenny (Matt Blackwell”), and Diana’s out-of-nowhere go-to detective who just happens to be at her father’s hospital, dressed in beat cop fatigues, in Det. Ramierz (Meeko).  All these seedling characters are detached in their gravitational encircling around the sisters, pulling in zero weight on a story that’s quickly deflating.  Rounding out the fleeting supporting cast is Trey Peyton. 

Following “House of Dolls” plotline might as well be riddles with attention deficit disorder.  Too much is happening without the ease of transition or even sense to hold down a floating story that’s constituting forced uniformity and civility amongst rival siblings by way of a mysterious house with mysterious clues. Yet, those clues don’t flesh out and intrigue over what could have been a backstory backbone turns into gelatinous indiscretion of kill-after-kill by a leather coat-wearing masked-maniac with knives that offers up in the end being nothing more than surface level, superficial slasher.  Salas pulls off some decent, gory kills, such as a slimy disembowelment and a bisected torso that spills guts, to add some value to the production that’s ultimately equalized by areas of cut-rate props, such as the obviously flat and dull large knives that look more like cardboard than metal.  Like in true slasher tropes, the killer is seemingly everywhere at once, hopping from one location to the next, even if the other locations are across town, but this punk-cladded, homicidal maniac appears in-and-out of the alternating scenes too lackadaisically without systematic care to at least in try and make it plausible.   

VMI Releasing and MVD Visual handle the physical media distribution with a 1080p, high-definition Blu-ray.  The AVC encoded BD50 has the capacity for the eclectically ranged front lit key lighting and neon lighting, delivering a clean picture without compression issues.  Details waver between certain aspects of lighting, which is expected, but the details that do emerge pinpoint textural qualities and the key lighting reveals appropriate, vivid coloring and skin tones when contrasted against heavier background shadows.  Jorge Villa’s sizzling neon gives a warm glow in purple, blues, reds, and orange that enhances to a near music video quality outside the normal lighting and production parameters.  The film is presented in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio.  The uncompressed DTS-HD 5.1 English audio mix is an upbeat combination of verbal jabs, deregulated dialogue, and a medley of pop music and low-tone beat creator for the villain peppered with hip-hop rhythms, violin and piano down tone, and some suspense synthesized keyboard notes that do lean into what makes a decent horror soundtrack.  No complaints on the dialogue track that’s fairly level but doesn’t explore much in depth as characters are often up front and center on the camera.  There’s also not enough range to really utilize the multi-channel network and so the lack of miscellany fight for audible supremacy. Subtitles are available in English only.  Bonus features are aplenty on this larger capacity disc with Juan Salas commentary track that runs parallel to the feature, Juan Salas and Dee Wallace have a Halloween special video chat to converse about their time in production, a Natasha Martinez hosted cast Q&A for the U.S. premiere, a making-of featurette, and a MiB Legacy music video The Man Who Was Death.  On the outside, VMI’s standard Blu-ray comes with an appealing touchup of the killer in full dress from the chest-up, singled out by a black background and the title just overhead.  The disc is pressed with the same image with no other tangible features.  The film is not rated with region free capabilities and has a runtime of 84 minutes.    

Last Rites: “House of Dolls” crumbles as a clunky attempt at a slasher with a twist ending. The story shatters like someone pulling a pin on a grenade and pieces of act structure shrapnel propel in all different directions and never once hit target in the latest from director Juan Salas.

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.

There’s No Cutting Out This EVIL! “Brain Tumor” reviewed! (MVD Visual & Whacked Movies / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Watch the Deadly Growth of the “Brain Tumor” on DVD!

World-renowned but virtually unorthodox and cursory neurosurgeon Dr. Seymour Caligari removes yet another brain tumor with relative ease from a cancerous-afflicted patient.  After the large golf ball sized tumor is discarded for oncology dissection and study in the lab, the once lifeless biological malignant specimen escapes from the medical pan and starts violently attacking people on a rouge killing spree.  Having absconded the hospital grounds, the tumor continuously stays on the hunt for its next meal, devouring the distasteful locals surrounding Dr. Caligari’s mansion home.  Caligari, his son Dash, and stepdaughter, Kitsie, who is an alcoholic and is also oddly dating her stepbrother, soon find out that the nearby, forest hiding tumor is growing into a large, tentacled, and toothy ball with bloodthirsty, feeding frenzy tendencies and it’s up to Caligari’s family to reconnect whole their interfamily relationship faults if they want to stop it before it consumes more victims. 

A practical schlock tribute to the pre-1980s monster movie, this 2024 release “Brain Tumor” embodies every bad, mutated cell that defined the ridiculously slathered B-movie creature features of yore, the ones that aired late enough to be seen by the burning the midnight oil few and were described with every exclamatory interjections and horrifying, vocabulary descriptors you could think of to put shock, terror, and fear in large, screen-to-screen filling grotesque font.  Glen Coburn, who’s directorially debuted with the “Blood Suckers from Outer Space” in 1984, wrote and directed his latest comedy-horror cheapie in nearly three decades since his last feature.  The American-made picture reteams Coburn with Bret McCormick whom both helmed a segment in the “Tabloid” horror anthology alongside the third co-segment director, Matt Devlan.  This time, the “Repligator” and “The Abomination” producer McCormick designs Coburn’s tumorous creature, much like the body-bred monster of “The abomination,” with “Tabloid” actress Kay Bay producing the film under Whacked Movies, distributed by TinyBig.

“Brain Tumor’s” schtick is part half-century ago creature feature and part absurdist humor brought upon by the cast of caricature characters beginning with Dr. Seymour Caligari in off the cuff remarks and off topic comments that no one patient wants to hear while in the middle of brain surgery, which, if I’m correct, requires you to be awake depending on the type of operation.  Behind Caligari is an actor who is usually behind the camera in Bil Arscott, cinematographer for “Christmas of the Dead” and gaffer for the Ryan Kline black market human meat selling comedy-horror short film “Meat.”  Perhaps the less sensationalist absurdist in the entire picture, Arscott is joined by Jack Mahoney and Sydney Hatton as son Dash and stepdaughter Kitsie who embody the light “Cruel Intentions” incest between siblings. Yes, I know they’re stepsiblings but there’s still a creepy factor about it.  Plus, Kitsie’s mentioned on multiple occasions about her alcoholism but that sidebar aspect her character doesn’t flourish or become problematic.  Dash tries to convince himself his father has nothing to do with the recent string of murders while Kitsie’s devil’s advocate reign of suspicion marks the doctor complicate.  In the end, none of the complexities amount to anything in a fiery fight finale of man versus malignant tumor with casualties in between from mostly interesting yet throwaway characters in biopsy researcher Phoenix Leach (Danielle Wyatt), Caligari’s medical assistant Freddy (Aspen Higgins), a bordering predo-priest Father Bud (Matt Tucker), and 2000’s indie scream queen Anjanette Clewis (“Witchcraft 13,” “Suburban Nightmare) in perhaps the only gory scene in the entire film.

At eye level, “Brain Tumor” is nothing more than a quirky horror-comedy conjured up with slim conceptualization from Coburn seeking to spend a shoestring budget.  Not a ton of substantial story inside this framework of a cantankerous killer tumor with a vaginal mouth, snakelike tentacles, and a single ocular just above the vagina dentata.  With no mutational cause for the creature’s resulted effect, the titular terrorizers mostly skulks in nearby bushes and grabs those stupid enough to leave the confines of their home to check out that weird sound.  Following a formulaic path similar to monster movies of the 1950s modernized to reflect with a jab of a politically divided climate and a liberal sense of humor, “Brain Tumor” fails to that semblance of an under-the-veil of Golden Age cinema veneer classified by those archaically rendered B-films, substituting the strived charm of making the most of it with farce and satire just like most modern movies that more-or-less mock what once was for a serious creature feature.  Without the presence of significant monster mayhem and without the presence of a personality, Coburn’s creature metastasizes into too many benign lumps that it causes a deficiency in entertainment, horror, and for it’s intended comedy. 

“Brain Tumor” arrives onto DVD home video from rising physical media distributor MVDVisual in distributive collaboration with Whacked Movies.  The MPEG2 encoded DVD5 is upscaled to 1080p from the standard 720p resolution.  Picture quality doesn’t hold many qualms through an ungraded and brightly lit digital compression.  There’s an artificial quality to the rudimentary visual effects that emits a plastic and hard-edged surface without a smoother blend into the frames.  Color density is quite sharp against the off-and-on emerging details when green screen tactics are not being utilized or the scene is not overexposed with natural lighting.  Audio specifications are not listed on the back cover, but my player has identified the English language mix encoding as an uncompressed stereo 2.0.  Digital audio retains a crisp and clean reproduction albeit the feedback crackling during higher pitched screaming.  Dialogue renders clean, free of obstruction, and with prominence over the other encoded tracks and despite it’s microbudget, an onboard mic doesn’t seem to be used here based off the clarity and depth of sound.  There are no subtitles available with this feature as well as no bonus content in this barebone, feature-only release.  The unsigned illustrated front cover art is neat though, an above average Ghana-like design that’s more accurate to the film’s storyline.  Aside from the sexy front cover, that’s about the sum of “Brain Tumor’s” physical allure with no insert accompaniments and a disc art pressed with partisan screengrab of the monster. The 76-minute feature comes unrated and is region free. 

Last Rites:  While I applaud the use of a stationary, yet tangible, bio-organic mutated creature instead of a visual effects atrocity, “Brain Tumor” is terminally fated to be a miss amongst fans both old and new with too little monster, too little gore, and too little sense to save itself from itself. 

Watch the Deadly Growth of the “Brain Tumor” on DVD!

How Many Chickens Need to Have Their Throats Cut to Satisfying Ritualistic, Naked EVIL! “Voodoo Passion” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Get Entranced by Full Moon’s “Voodoo Passion” Blu-ray!

Newly married Susan House travels to Haiti to join her consulate husband, Jack House, who has been stationed at the British Embassy.   Captivated by the Haitian voodoo religion and culture, Susan is eager to tour the island nation’s most ambiguous practice most don’t or will never understand all the while Jack’s naked and nymphomaniac Sister, Olga, makes forward, flirtatious advances toward her.  That fervor for voodooism and Olga’s point-blank seduction has seemingly incepted terrible nightmares of naked, animal sacrificial rituals and murder conducted beguilingly by a priestess in the form of Jack House’s native housekeeper, Inês.  When Susan awakes, the realism of her dreams afflicts her but her husband Jack and his colleague, a psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Pierre Barré swear there have been no police reported murders.  Night after night, Susan’s entranced nightmares continue to be vivid with murderous mysticism that’s slowly driving her mad in the land of voodoo. 

One of Jesus “Jess” Franco’s more bosom and bush erotic-thrillers, “Voodoo Passion” is nearly a fully naked runtime feature sprinkled with hints of the nation’s cultural religion.  The 1977 released, German Production, also known by the titles “”Call of the Blonde Goddess” or “Der Ruf der blonden Göttin,” was less about his own stylistic substance and auteur stamp and more about spasmatic, gyrating nudity under rhythmic bongo beats for the Spanish sleaze and exploitation genre filmmaker.   The gratuitously sexed-up, multinational feature is penned by the Switzerland born, sexploitation and adult genre screenwriter Erwin C. Dietrich under one of his pen names, Manfred Gregor.  Dietrich also produces the film amongst a substantially historical collaborative effort between himself and Franco over the course of the late 70s to early 80s.  Nestor Film Producktion serves as the production company, filming entirely not in Haiti but in the beautifully scenic and old-world allure of the seaside capital of Lisbon, Portugal.  

Lots of hot body action in this beat-driven, voodooism thriller primarily between a trio of character-diverse, titillating ladies and peppered with peripheral nude women and men tribals engaged in a ceaseless native, ritual thrusting, pulsing, and shaking trance dance.  “Voodoo Passion” grips itself around the rags-to-riches character of Mrs. Susan House in what is a matron-look for Spanish actress Ada Tauler (“The Sexy Horrible Vampire,” “Love Camp”) brought to Haiti at the behest of her British consult, newlywed husband Jack House, played by the stony-faced and “Eugenie” and “Pieces” American actor Jack Taylor able to swing both thrills and feminine frills in his films.  While Tauler’s doesn’t shy away from full nudity of Susan House’s fever dream state, the actress pales in comparison to the other two-thirds who are more engaged in sexual promiscuity and the liberating fervor of ethnic ceremony.   Those two actresses are “Caged Women’s” Karine Gambier as the nymphomaniac sister of Jack House and the face of most of “Voodoo Passion’s” physical marketing with French actress Muriel Montossé (“Cecilia”), under the more westernized stage name of Vicky Adams.  With a face and body like a model, Vicky Adams’s wild arm and stoic expression dance moves will hypnotize viewers entranced with the bongo tempo’s transfixing pomp, contributing to the film’s psychotronic premise of magical and religious rites, obfuscated nightmares, and, cue Austin Powers’s voice, murder.  Yeah, Baby!  “Voodoo Passion” has curves for days and in all different personas that keep things weirdly, but welcomingly, platonic on some level and not just an overly saturated sex-fest.  The film’s cast rounds out with Vitor Mendes (“Swedish Nympho Slaves”) and Ly Frey.

If asked to describe or give an opinion on “Voodoo Passion,” one would say cheekily the Jess Franco film is a thriller swathed in an eyeful of bosom and bush.  If the 4-minute introductory scene with voiceover exposition to the ceremonial voodoo band and half-naked native dancers wasn’t enough of a clue, Ada Tauler and Karine Gambier pull you right back into the soaking tub with their soapy, wet bodies as they immediately take a bath together upon meeting for the first time.  From that point on, the bosom and bush bar has been set and in that the thicket of unshaven landing strips, there’s a good story underneath about the mystics and misconceptions of Haitian voodooism.  Unfortunately, much of that story falls behind the showcases of skin, thrusting the principal ladies into the spotlight, overshadowing Jack Taylor’s performance as well as doing nothing for the poor psychologist in Vitor Mendes, and undercutting the very theme of ritual exploitation and misconduct which is half of “Voodoo Passion’s” concept.  The entirety is all quickly surmised in one fell swoop of exposition without the necessary leg work, that should have been carried out by either Susan House or the consul assistant Inês, of building evidence for or against the contrary exposed in the finale.  Then again, does gorgeous naked women dancing about really need a well-rounded plot?  All depends on the eyes of the beholder and these eyes needed that equilibrium!

Full Moon Features conjures up a Blu-ray for this Jess Franco thriller debased in sexploitation slather.  The AVC encoded, high-definition 1080p, is housed on a single layer BD25, yet not encoded heavily with bonus content, “Voodoo Passion” is able to retain a full-bodied image from a remastered German original negative owned by producer Erwin C. Dietrich.  Vivid color saturation, contrast levels accompanying each other, natural looking skin tons, and the stunning detail render this Full Moon Features release the bees’ knees.  No signs of blocking or banding but some celluloid frames are slightly grainier than others that might be a result of age, wear, or the variable of film stock.  There is only a single audio option, an English LPCM 5.1 renders lossless audio, clearing each channel with ease, and delivering a rhythmic bongo drum beat with intensity.  Dialogue mirrors the richness despite the ADR track overtop the diverse nationalities’ native tongues.  There are no English subtitles, or any setup option for that matter, for this English only track release.  Special features included are an archival interview with Jess Franco with forced English subtitles Franco, Bloody Franco, a rare photo slideshow of images from the film, the German trailer, and a Jess Franco vintage trailer reel of most of his schlocky Eurosleaze fair.  What’s party treasured about these newly re-released films onto a new full HD transfer is Full Moon’s physical package redesigns that offer a cardboard slipcover with new illustrated, pinup-esque, art.  “Voodoo Passion” has a half-naked woman, presumably the nymphomaniac sister Olga, moaning in ecstasy while holding a…hand mirror?  Wonder if that should have been the champaign bottle Olga uses to, well, you know, pleasure herself with.   There’s also a striking, NSFW, Muriel Montossé pose in a scene from the film on the traditional Blu-ray Amaray front cover with additional explicit scenes on the backside.  The disc is pressed with the same slipcover illustration and there are no inserts inside the case.  Presented uncut and region free, this Full Moon release of Jess Franco’s vintage sleaze has a runtime of 86-minutes.   

Last Rites:  Another wholly impressive picture quality presentation of another unwholesome, softcore sexploitation by Full Moon Features, a friend to Haitian voodoo and you, the licentiously greedy viewer! 

Get Entranced by Full Moon’s “Voodoo Passion” Blu-ray!

A Eurotrash Mosaic of EVIL. “Jailhouse Wardress” reviewed! (MVD Visual / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Jailhouse Wardress” now on Blu-ray!

After the fall of the Nazi Reich post-World War II, one of the more cruel SS-Officers, Muller, is dispatched to South America where he establishes a women’s prison camp and appoints a likeminded, lesbian female warden with strict punitive measures if the inmates don’t fall in line and follow the rules or instruction.  While Muller governs the area, disorder courses its way through the camp when a plea letter to the state, describing in detail the horrors inflicted upon the women at the camp, such as torture and private cells for sex with the inmates, is intercepted before leaving the premises.  At the same time, a young, newly processed inmate, who had killed her rapist uncle in self-defense, plans a daring except.  The once well-oil authoritarian sex prison quickly becomes unraveled by unruly prisoners who’ve had enough with the eternal inhumane debauchery and with the exterior assistance of Jewish liberators and assassins, freedom is all but knocking at the door.   

Hot off the heels of Neon Eagle Video’s Blu-ray release of “Kill Butter Kill,” a Taiwanese rape-revenge narrative that’s been jumbled up with re-edits to engender a whole new structure, we dip into another Blu-ray remix, soaring from Asiatic East to the Western Europe with “Jailhouse Wardress,” a Alain W. Steeve hardly directed women-in-prison schlocker pieced together from three earlier Nazisploitation and caged-women exploitation features with barely any new footage used a binding agent to construct a concentrated concentration camp plot.  Steeve, a pseudo-surname for Alain Deruelle, a pornographic director who did helm “Cannibal Terror” under the name Alain Thierry, hodge-podges a new sordid camp exploitation picture out of already near the bottom-of-the-barrel features that sparked very little lewd cheekiness of sleazy Nazi oppression and the perversities of a hard labor with hard bodies in a women’s prison camp.  France’s Eurociné is listed as the production company but unsure if there was any company backing or shooting the new spliced-in footage since Eurociné outfitted the trio of features used to make up more than half of “Jailhouse Wardress;” these films included “Barbed Wire Dolls,” “Last Train for Hitler,” and “Elsa Fraulein SS.”

Unlike “Kill Butterfly Kill,” much of the new material shot for “Jailhouse Wardress” incorporate different actors into already established roles of the component films and with the scenes going back and forth between new and archive footage, keeping up with a fluent narrative is more difficult than said.  For instance, two different actors play Nestor; Germany’s Eric Falk (“Blue Rita”) footage from sparingly used from the “Barbed Wire Dolls” and most of Nestor’s scenes lie with X-rated and softcore French actor Didier Aubriot (“Naked Lovers,” “They Do Everything”) barking the orders and taking what he wants from the freshly instilled and scantily uniformed actresses inside the cages with Pamela Stanford (“Blue Rita”) and Nadine Pascal (“Zombie Lake”).  You can tell their scenes are newer, fresher, with more color emitting from a different film stock and camera combination compared to the brief, desaturated appearing scenes of Eric Falk who never touches the women prisoners in Beni Cardoso (“Scalps”), Lina Romay (“Female Vampire”), and Martine Stedil (“Marquise de Sade”) who bare a lot of undercarriage bush as a gratuitous rite of exploitation culture.  Much is lost not only in a re-dubbed soundtrack of the source films but what’s also lost heavily are the character attributes that left behind from the original films, such as the prison director’s (Monica Swinn, “Love Camp”) brutish lesbian demeanor with “Last Train for Hitler’s” Ingrid Schüler.  This type of devolving reshapes the characters for worst, takes away much of their cruelty and passes it along to predominantly to the newer footage of Teresa and Lola at the naked mercy of the newer Nestor.  “Jailhouse Wardress” fills out the archive and new footage German, French, and English nationals cast with Eugénie Laborde, Bob Asklöf, Michel Charrel, Peggy Markoff, Paul Muller, Sylvie Darty, Ronald Curram, Maria Cavour, and the archive presence of Jess Franco in a normal camera speed slow-motion flashback death scene as Uncle Jess in this particular feature.

“Jailhouse Wardress’s” old, new, or however you wish or feel compelled to describe the mismatched footage ultimately compromises the plot by the cut-and-paste hack job.  A slight attempt can be seen made to align new and old footage for sequence editing but without a seamless grading and more similar costuming, the events never feel in the same space, creating more a schism between the two material footages rather unifying for a common narrative.  Subplots, such as the imposter prison doctor or the Jewish hit on the Governor, are more prominent than the actual foundational plot so there’s a hindrance of uncertainty to what should be the main premise, including the Nazi angle that seems to vanish without much of a fuss, and the brain works in overtime trying to follow one scheme to then have to jump to another without traversing that pivotal straight line that connects the dots, leading to a complete mental shutdown due to exhaustion and confusion.  What doesn’t help matters is the arterial lifeforce, the purposeful exhibition of exploitation, the whole reason why we watch through our subconscious sadistic eyes women become slaves to ruthless perverts, is severely castrated on a couple’s sexploitation scale.  Much of what is shown is solo work; women lying in bed bottomless or are stripped nude for only a few moments of touching or taking by force without much of a fight.    

The ”Jailhouse Wardress” receives the high-definition Blu-ray treatment from our friends at MVD Visual as part of their MVD Classics label.  The AVC encoded, 1080p, BD25 suits the patchwork Alain Deruelle (and Jess Franco in archive footage only) feature.  While the 2K scan looks pretty darn good for a schlocky eurotrash pastiche, the print used is a gut-punch to videophiles hard-pressed on image quality and preservation.  Presented in a more consolidated pixel count of 1.42 aspect ratio, the print, or at least the “Barbed Wire Dolls” was originally in the European aspect ratio of 1.66:1 as you can see the letterboxing during the titles and they eventually expand out, stretching the image.  The print is in rough shape in its spliced up format with its seam-showing different graded parts that creates a back-and-forth inconsistency.  “Barbed Wire Dolls” is shades darker, grittier, and less definable than inserted shoots.  There’s an abundance of print damage too from frame damage to vertical scratches, mostly early into the runtime.  With the inconsistent picture quality, grain never looks healthy as the amount fluctuates and, often times, becomes more an interference of higher contrast exposure in darker portions.  Both audio options are in an uncompressed PCM 2.0 mono format and you listen in with dubbed English or in the combined original and dubbed French.  Not the flawless audio to ever come across but neither is the worst but what’s inlaid is untouched mix that contains all the hissing, crackles, and pops that blight the audio thread.  Yet, dialogue remains intelligible, thanks mainly to the dub work I suppose, but if you don’t mind Pamela Stanford’s sounding like Smeagol than this audio dub is for you.  English subtitles are optionally available and they synch well enough with a couple of grammatical errors.  The theatrical trailer for “Jailhouse Wardress” is the only direct bonus content available with other eurotrash trailers accompanying.  The packaging is quite eye-catching of an illustrated Nazi-patronized burlesque show front cover inside the traditional Blu-ray Amaray case.  The back cover has the more confounding composite artwork with still captures from neither of the films used and stock image marketing that have little or nothing to do with the film itself.  Inside content is barebones with the BD25 disc stamped with the same front cover art.  The Blu-ray comes not rated, region free, and has a merciful 75-minute runtime. 

Last Rites:  Exploitation fans will find “Jailhouse Wardress” lacking that je ne sais quoi.  The interlocking of multiple prints is like unwelcome visible scar tissue, glad it’s there to heal the wound but unsightly to look at.  As for filling in one’s gap in the Naziploitation and Women-in-Prison collection, “Jailhouse Wardress” isn’t a must-have main ingredient for the diehard fans but for an aficionado completist, MVD supplies the goods with a Hi-Def option.

“Jailhouse Wardress” now on Blu-ray!