EVIL Chews Through Its Own Loved Ones as “The Vourdalak” reviewed! (Oscilloscope Laboratories / Blu-ray)

“The Vourdalak” Available Now at Amazon.com!

The special emissary of the King of France is ambushed by Turks in an isolated Slovic countryside.  With his carriage and clothes stolen and his driver-servant dead, Monseigneur Marquis Jacques Antoine Saturnin d’Urfé has nothing more than the clothes on his back.  He finds himself in the home of Gorcha, an enemy of the Turks, who resides with his three adult children, a daughter in law, and a grandson, but Gorcha was not presently there to greet his hapless visitor until his returns later that day from fighting the Turkish raiders.  Yet, aside from the oldest son Jegor, the family’s superstitious beliefs lead them to doubt Gorcha returning home human and instead has returned as vourdalak, or a blood hungry vampiric creature who feeds on his own loving family to turn them all into the same unnatural ilk.  From an outsider’s point of view, what Marquis d’Urfé witnesses initially is a strange peasant family’s irritational fear turn into a harrowing horror as one-by-one the family members reach an unfortunate end after the return of Gorcha.

Based off the gothic novella “La Famille du Vourdalak. Fragment inedit des Memoires d’un inconnu” from Russian author Aleksey Konstantinovic Tolstoy, a story that plays on the etymology of the Slavic folklore word Wurdulac, or a vampire-like creature, that exacts a similar transpiring fate as described in the above plotline of Adrien Beau’s “The Vourdalak.”   The writer-director fleshes out the 1839 Tolstoy story, one that’s predates Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” by nearly 60 years, for his own period set rendition created for modern times almost two centuries later in 2023 as his debut feature-length film.  The French film is cowritten alongside Hadrien Bouvier who doesn’t depict the vampiric creature as a nobleman, or even a man of wealth, but rather as a likely lowly serf of the countryside under a noble or lord.  Yet, the script, very much like Tolstoy’s novella, is contained within the family and their home rather than expanding across continents and seas, as in Stoker’s “Dracula.”  “The Vourdalak” is produced by “Alone in Berlin’s” Marco and Lola Pacchnioni and Judith Lou Lévy (“Zombie Child”) under the production banners of Les Films du Ball, Master Movies and, in association with, Cinemage 17 and Amazon. 

A period piece with an intimate cast brings closer together the targeted era of late 18th century to early 19th century costuming, articles, and, to extent, performances that sell the monarchial times of French aristocracy and Slavic provincials living humbly on the fringes of an everlasting Russo-Turkish war that spanned decades.  Leading the charge is the only French aristocrat portrayed character in the story played by Kacey Mottet Klein (“The Suicide Shop”).  Dressed in traditional Empiric style high collar shirt, petty coat, and a white wig and garishly garnished with white pale-looking makeup with mouche, an adhesive mole, to reflect their wealth and status, Klein’s prim-and-proper, yet prudish and prissy, Marquis Jacques Antoine Saturnin d’Urfé is finely out of his element with a satisfiable character arc that has the Monseigneur go from a squeamish snob to finding compassion, sympathy, and courage amongst darkness aimed to swallow a family whole as d’Urfé’s high society and fantastical life clashes with the real world with war, necessity, death, natural beauty, unconventionalities, and consideration through another type of fantasy lens, a troubling, insidious darkness that plagues and feeds on the blood from within a domestic design that’s ruthless as it is unfathomable.  Jegor (Grégoire Colin, “Bastards”) is the loyal eldest son, Piotr (Vassili Schneider, “The Demons”) is the sexual orient ambiguous second son with external emotions unlike his other brother, Sdenka (Ariane Labed, “The Brutalist”) is the free-spirited but melancholic beauty, Anja (Claire Duburcq, “She is Conann”) as Jegor’s more than practical and realistic wife and young Vlad (Gabriel Pavie) is Jegor and Anje’s preadolescent boy.  The aforenoted characters are all embodied by a physical, living person to play the role but Gorcha is a horse of another color.  In fact, Gorcha’s not a living thing at all and is actually a puppet personified by two puppeteers and voiced by director Adrien Beau.  The puppet has an emaciated appearance, resembling closely to those used in “Return of the Living Dead, and with the power of green screen, the animating arms and bodies are overlayed out and Gorcha lives and breathes with an animatism spirit that’s creepy as all Hell with an underscoring tow of vampirism. 

In its essence, “The Vourdalak” embraces the simplicity with a less-is-more atmosphere, a self-assured reliance in the palpable and practical, and a confidence in its cast to extract the drama and horror of a longstanding folklore and deliver its poignant potency with eccentric diversity and steady anxiety.  Beau drenches dread into every crevice that sticks like humidity to its subdued black comedy attire.  Yes, “The Vourdalak,” though grim and dark, has a sliver of comedy course through its bloodlet and lapped up veins from the main character’s perspective who, at first, is quite out of his comfortable, aristocracy element being wiggled into a lower-class family’s unusual dysfunctionality.  There’s also the puppet aspect integrated into living, breathing actors as if one of their own and that certainly as a basic layer of absurd surrealism, the French know a thing or two about liberal arts absurdism.  Beau’s shooting style resembles a blend between the fixed camera and low-key lit silent films, also implementing throwback spyglass shots that were widely used in the early cinematic period, and the Euro-horror movement of the 1960s to early 1980s with an ominous romanticism, a dark and creepy-fog environment, and tinged to cooler shades of soft blues and greens all the while lightly touching upon themes of sexuality, homosexuality, and family structures that often collide with one another to stir the pot and overshadows the imminent danger in front of them. 

“The Vourdalak” is unpredictably grotesque in the most amusingly macabre way and is now on a region free Blu-ray release from our friends at Oscilloscope Laboratories.  AVC encoded onto the BD50, the high definition, 1080p resolution, might throw audiences and purveyors of physical media for a loop when the picture isn’t as fine as expected for a modern released picture.  That’s because Adrien Beau shot “The Dourdalak” in Super 16mm that enlivens a grainy and soft toned picture that can appear slightly blurry, resembling the ilk of European horror from the 1960s-1980s  Presented in an anamorphic widescreen 2.35:1 aspect ratio, Beau is very committed the coldness of bleak grays, blues, reds and the variant fused shades of purple, pink, and teals that sparingly envelope the entire frame with a lens tint in surreal moments, such as fever dreams or emulated night shots.  Though unfocused at times, plenty of distinction can still be rendered, such as the very stooge features and qualities of the Gorcha puppet.  The French DTS-HD Master Audio stereo track is an audio sensory mini-triumph.  In its modest sound design, minor qualitative sounds instill creepy atmospherics, especially the sound prominence of a raw chewing theme associated with the vourdalak creature’s folklore.  Adrien Beau also better animates and personifies his Gorcha puppet with a wheezy and struggling voice over for who is supposed to be a very elderly father-grandfather in an undernourished and skeletal appearance with sunken, bulging eyes and a near fully exposed teeth. The special features include two of Adrien Beau’s short films “Les Condiments Irreguliers” and “La Petite Sirene” as well as a behind-the-scenes featurette that’s more of the raw footage of animating and acting the Gorcha puppet without the visual effects removing the puppeteers. The Oscilloscope Laboratories Blu-ray comes in a clear Amaray case with soft, airbrushed quality composition artwork of a calm Marquis Jacques Antoine Saturnin d’Urfé being feasted upon around his neck by the vourdalak. The reverse side contains a still image of a medium-far shot of one of the more powerful images in the film of a graveyard d’Urfé passes through as if it was a revolving doorway in and out of death. A simple yellow title and label name are splayed across the disc, consistent and normal per the company’s design, and the film is not rated with a runtime of 90 minutes.

Last Rites: Rarely do I give a five-star review for a film but Adrien Beau’s “The Vourdalak” is a fascinating and frightening visualization of Aleksey Konstantinovic Tolstoy story that trades visceral images for palpable ones in a folkloric entrancement of unnatural beings disrupting the natural world, a concept worth chewing on the nape of the neck for.

“The Vourdalak” Available Now at Amazon.com!

Mesozoic Era EVIL and the Cavegirl Beauties! “Dinosaur Valley Girls” reviewed! (Visual Vengeance / Blu-ray)

“Dinosaur Valley Girls” Visual Vengeance Collector’s Set Available Here!

Action movie superstar Tony Markham’s relationships exploit him of his actor status as women will only surround him for even just a bit part in one of his films.  Tony continues to have reoccurring dreams of a prehistoric place where a beautiful cavewoman allures him with mysterious passion.  Unable to get the images out of his head, he visit’s a natural history museum that conjures familiarities within the dinosaur bones and cave drawings that look awfully similar to the cavewoman of his dreams.  When he wishes upon a supposed magically talisman, Tony is transported to prehistoric past where he encounters dangerous dinosaurs, brutish cavemen, and bosomy cavewomen looking for love, even Hea-Thor, the one from his nightly visions.  As Tony tries to figure out a way to return home, he finds Hea-Thor has become infatuated with the man from the future for not his movie stardom and seeks to reestablish relationships between the men and women tribes after years of loveless contention.

A time-travelling, dino-tastic romp with also a whole lot of rumps, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is the voluptuous, velociraptor sex-comedy of the mid-1990s during the post-Jurassic Park Dinosaur craze.  Filmmaker and paleontology enthusiast Donald F. Glut combined his love for making practical movies and the inscrutable dinosaur biota together into one hairbrained comedy “Dinosaur Valley Girls.”   Glut, who established himself as a short film and television writer, especially in animation, had worked on “Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends,” “The Transformers, and even “Scooby-Doo” and “Captain America,” and then, after his feature length debut on “Dinosaur Valley Girls,” continued on to write and direct more sexploitation features, such as “The Erotic Rites of Countess Dracula” and “The Mummy’s Kiss.”  Film in mostly in the Bronson Canyon and Dinosaur Valley State Park of California and Texas, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is produced by Kevin M. Glover (“Sisterhood of the Shewolf”) and is a production of the Donald F. Glut, Kevin M. Glover, and Executive Producer Daniel J. Mullen cohort company Glut Mullen Productions in association with Frontline Entertainment for distribution rights.

Jeff Rector, who has a classic look circa 50s or 60s in style and mannerisms, principally leads as Tony Markham, the hot flavor of the month actor within a franchise of martial arts films and is in the weeds of women yearning to be with him only in hope for a small role in one of his hit movies.  The “Hellmaster” and “Legion of the Night” actor hams up the humble, good-lookin’ good guy act with smooth as butter suaveness and silky speech that drives his dream cavegirl Hea-Thor up a Brachiosaurus neck.  Actress turned television and column journalist Denise Ames rocked out with her chest out for nearly all her filmic career before going into the celebrity news reporting profession with securing her only principal lead in Hea-Thor to head Glut’s “Dinosaur Valley Girls,” a gaggle of fed-up cavewomen who have separated from their male counterparts because of their abusive, brutish behavior.  Denise Ames (“Danger Zone III:  Steel Horse War,” “Slash Dance”) was typically typecasted as the sexy girl and as Hea-Thor, the role is no different with a big hair-don’t care, easy-on-the-eyes early woman whose half nude or topless for much of her scnees.  Glut’s comical pen plays as much into the satirist spirit as it does into the gratuitousness of a rather harmless sexploitation.  For instance, all the cavegirls have that play on stereotypical valley names like Hea-Thor with Bran-Dee (Staci B. Flood), Tor-Ree (S.G Ellison), Bar-Bee (Caree), Tam-Mee (Tammy Lee Jackson), Mee-Shell (Donna Spangler), Bam-Bee (Lauryn Vea), and Buf-Fee (Michelle Stanger).  There’s also Ro-Kell, played by the late cult actress Karen Black  (“Trilogy of Terror,” “House of a 1000 Corpses”), trying to keep her girls safe from a longing Ur-So, played by Ed Fury in a name homage role to his days playing the titular hero Ursus.  Black and Fury are fine apart but together they’re like two playful puppies enjoying each other company and making their characters be the catalyst for change Tony strives for amongst the long feuding cave people.  In the casting mix, Harrison Ray plays Beeg-Mak, leader of the semi-food monikered cavemen, the late “Blacula” actor William Marshall as a museum scientist, and softcore actress Griffin Drew (“Sex Files,” “The Blair Wench Project 2:  Scared Topless”) showing off her breast assets as Tony’s hand-and-foot, yet superficial, girlfriend.

“Dinosaur Valley Girls’ is not rocket science but it is science-fiction at its genre core with an ancient magical talisman transporting Tony to a bosomy, featherheaded, primordial time where stop motion and forced perspective dinosaurs roamed and the people population live simply in what is considered a primal culture that’s more creature than comfort.  You can see the fun Glut instills into the writing and the filming with little-to-no serious peril thrusted upon the characters in either facing off in a gender war or going toe-to-toe with an allosaurus.  Instead, Glut focuses more effort into the sexy and lighthearted campiness by theme of running gags and a love story plotline between a man and a woman from different time periods.  Does Glut explain why Tony is haunted by dreams of Hea-Thor and the prehistory.  No.  Do we need to care about that?  Nah.  Suggestive and silly sexploitation is genetically trimmed to be less tensioned and more stimulating with comedic relief and attractive nudity and “Dinosaur Valley Girls” delivers both commodities inside a lost world, fantasy-driven framework bred out of the mid-90s out from the wake of the mega blockbuster and special effects Tyrannosaur that was Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park.” 

Visual Vengeance, masters of the ostentatious obscurity and understated SOV films, transport us to the past with “Dinosaur Valley Girls” on a New American debut Blu-ray collector’s release! The BD50 is AVC encoded, 1080i upconverted from 720p, transferred from the original standard definition tape elements, with the pre-film caveat of potential A/V issues to set the bar. Presented in a 1.33:1 aspect ratio, the image is a mix of 35mm and tape that produces a mixed bag of quality standard with some scenes harnessing the film grain while other scenes get a sense of the interlacing aspects of tape. The grading if often muted yellow or a warm greenish tint inside and outside caves that often indicates the yellowing effect caused by either an aging tape or poor record quality but “Dinosaur Valley Girls” is actually one of Visual Vengeance’s better looking products when considering the image. The English Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo mix offers front channel effects without seemingly too fixed. Instead, there’s plenty of distinct isolation between ambience, Foley (including non-diegetic sound effects), dialogue, and soundtrack. Ripping farts and boob-dropping boings take precedence in the layering scheme for the running gags unless there is dialogue than that’s untouched and unmolested with a clear and clean track that can take an anemic turn at times through the dual channels. Optional English subtitles are available for selection. Visual Vengeance supplies substantial supplementals with a new 2023 commentary with director Don F. Glut and director of “Lurking Fear” C. Courtney Joyner along with an archive commentary with same two. Extras continue with a 2023 interview with Dinosaur Valley Guy Don F. Glut, Don Glut: The Collection a look inside Don’s home that doubles as a dinosaur museum, deleted and alternate scenes, the Making of Dinosaur Valley Girls, a music video reel Dinosaur Tracks, Jurassic Punk film soundtrack with music and lyrics, Dinosaur Valley Girls soundtrack music and lyrics, the original storyboards, production stills, go-go dancer and model Mu Wang in Don F. Glut music videos Mu-Seum and Dance Prehistoric, original promotional trailer along with other Visual Vengeance trailers, and a PG-13 (boo) cut of the film. Visual Vengeance’s encoded animated loop menus are always a joy to just watch as well. If you want to talk about marketable physical media content, the limited o-slipcover on this collector’s set alone will turn head and catch eyes with illustrated, half-naked cavegirls running and following over as a monstrous, man-eating Dinosaur roars in the backdrop, credited to graphic artist Rick Melton. If you missed out on the slipcover, the same artwork is pressed on the Blu-ray disc and is on a mini-folded poster tucked in the insert. The clear Blu-ray Amaray case has additional, uncredited artwork that’s more sensationally adventurous than the actual film and the reverse side has the original cover art of a smiling Denise Ames as Hea-Thor pulled from previous releases. Inside is packed with the aforenoted poster plus a “Dinosaur Valley Girls” sticker, retro VHS sticker sheet, and a plotline, release acknowledgement, and Denise Ames image insert sheet. The unrated release is region free and has a runtime of 94-minutes.

Last Rites: Campy, schlocky, and plenty of T&A, “Dinosaur Valley Girls” beats out the Flintstones any day of the week with another Visual Vengeance awesomesaurus release.

“Dinosaur Valley Girls” Visual Vengeance Collector’s Set Available Here!

EVIL Wants You Tour Your Own Personal Hell! “Trapped Ashes” reviewed! (4K UHD and Blu-ray / Deaf Crocodile)

4K and Blu-ray “Trapped Ashes” from Deaf Crocodile. Available Here!

The VIP package for a historical studio backlot tour gives seven strangers a behind-the-scenes look at how movies were made and the background behind them.   When their cart pulls up to one of the more infamous movie houses for Desmond Hacker’s fright flick Hysteria, the tour group are eager to explore what’s typically off limits for normal, non-VIP tour attractions.  Once inside the backlot house, much of the Hacker’s funhouse tricks and odd designs are although covered in cobwebs are still very functionally practical as the group separates and goes room-by-room to peruse a movie house.  When they all gather in what looks to be the commune dining area, they find themselves unable to locate the way out no matter which unlocked door they choose, which circles them back.  The tour guide mentions Hacker’s movie had similar parallels and that the only way to free themselves would be to tell their own personal horror story.  With nowhere to go and nothing to lose, the stories begin their descent into terror. 

For someone who doesn’t go out of their way to watch horror anthologies, I’ve been on a kick lately with a decent string of short film compilation feature, starting with the latest entry from the popular “V/H/S” franchise, “V/H/S/Beyond.”  Next up takes us back to 2006 with “Trapped Ashes,” a campy horror anthology that not only brought together legendary genre directors, such as “Friday the 13th’s” Sean S. Cunningham, “Gremlins’s” Joe Dante, “The Matrix” visual effects arts John Gaeta, “Silent Night, Deadly Night 3:  Better Watch Out’s” Monte Hellman, and the late director of “Altered States,” Ken Russell, but also brings together aged, yet still legendary, familiar faced actors that have since past that short time between 2006 and 2025   Dennis Bartok wrote the anthology piece and is his brainchild, producing the film.

Those aforesaid actors have a combined nearly centuries (plural!) of experience with careers spanning an average of 50 years each.  Henry Gibson (“The ‘burbs”), John Saxon (“A Nightmare on Elm Street”), and Dick Miller (“Gremlins”) all together in one film.  Granted, Dick Miller’s cameo was so short that all three were only together for a brief scene but the trio alone should bring in genre fans to witness Henry Gibson in a persona he does best, a round faced under stark white hair and with puppy dog eyes that draws one closer to his innocence only to have the rug snatched right from under you when he turns sinisterly dark as the seemingly harmless tour guide.  Saxon also plays true to his conventional character archetype as a wise-cracking tough guy too cool for school; this time, he plays a screenwriter haunted by his own betrayal toward his best friend while being infatuated with a bewitching beautiful woman.  Unlike most horror anthologies, “Trapped Ashes’” individual tales contain mostly the same cast as the wraparound with Saxon, Jayce Bartok (“Founder’s Day”), Lara Harris (“The Dogfighters”), Rachel Veltri (“Pray for Morning”), Michèle-Barbara Pelletier (“Brainscan”), and Scott Lowell as the tour guests with personal hell to tell.  The heterogeneous group convey their supernatural-laced anecdotes that mingle inside the context of their being or life whether body image, marriage, friendships, and childhood, subjective intimacies that shape their excruciating experiences that, if audiences see them on screen for the first time, wouldn’t be clear how deeply burdened or troubled they are at first glance.  Once the story is told, moods and personalities shift, or perhaps seemingly normal habits are made clearer, and this is made possible by the eclectic bunch of actors to carve away their characters’ exterior shells to see who they really portray.  Ryo Ishibashi (“Audition”), Yoshinori Hiruma, Mina E. Mina (“Eastern Promises”), Winston Rekert (“Eternal Evil”), Ken Russell, Tahmoh Penikett (“Trick r’ Treat”), Tygh Runyan (“Disturbing Behavior”), Amelia Cooke (“Species III”), Luke Macfarlane, Deanna Milligan, and Matreya Fedor (“Slither”).

Riffling through the obvious camp “Trapped Ashes” touts very proudly, there are nuggets surrounding the unsavory themes.  Body dysphoria within “The Girl with Golden Breasts” is one of these topics, where an actress feels compelled to enhance her bosom for better, younger roles, and that speaks the relevance ill of the movie industry’s perverse tidings of late as actors and actresses continue to fill, inject, scar, and manipulate themselves into being their unnatural self to satisfy producers, execs, and audience likes and expectations when, in reality, hurts nothing but themselves.  Dissatisfaction marriage, or perhaps better labeled stagnant marriage, leads into invasive third party to sate long neglect passion and in this case, that third party is an ancient Japanese demon named Seishin (Japanese for Spirit) who lures the wife’s sexual appetite down to the pits of the netherworld.  From there, themes love triangles, obsession, cheating, and dysfunctional family structures formulate a pod of personal pate smeared with victimization, the victims being the storytellers stuck in the Desmond Hacker’s Hysteria backlot house.  “Trapped Ashes” isn’t about being victim, it’s more about playing the victim and those playing may not be victims of their own tales at all that adds a morsel of supernaturality to the recipe that changed the course of the idiosyncratic anecdotes that are close to their emotions and mental well-beings as well as proximally physically hazardous. 

Our first time covering the Dennis Bartok and Craig Rogers founded Deaf Crocodile release and it doesn’t disappointment with a sleek new 2-Disc 4K UHD and Blu-ray of “Trapped Ashes,” scanned and restored in 4K for its Blu-ray debut.  Presented in a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio, the Deaf Crocodile UHD is HVEC encoded, 2160p Dolby Vision, BD66 and the Blu-ray is AVC encoded, 1080p high definition, BD50.  For an early 2000 production, “Trapped Ashes” doesn’t have the digital veneer of early 2000s film besides some visual effects work of the image manipulation drooping effect.  The extra pixels of UHD really brighten and elevate the image to today’s standards to surface the most inconspicuous details lost in standard definition.  Color saturation and skin tones appear natural and organic with no signs of compression issues or imbedded problems with the digital equipment.  Depth has really opened up in areas like the funhouse illusions of the Hysteria house in the wraparound segment and or in “Twin” when reality of the situation is made clear to put the explanation in one single medium-to-medium closeup frame.  Blu-ray copy mimics a lot same UHD accolades with a less fine tune edge around the background.  The English DTS-HD 5.1 surround sound is the only audio option available on both formats.  More than ample, the lossless provides a deepening immersion the deeper you go into stories with balanced side and back channels complimented by an even-keeled LFE to register the bass near the front while whispery events hover around a surrounding backside, such as with Cunningham’s “Jibaku’s” drawing-in hallucination moment of a Japanese painting that instills reverberating echoes and Shepherd tones.  English SDH subtitles are available.  Bonus features include threw new interviews – Dennis Bartok moderates a feature-length, online platform interview with director John Gaeta, cast members Jayce Bartok, Scott Lowell, and Lisi Tribble, producers Yuki Yoshikawa and Yushifumi Hosoya, and cinematographer Zoran Popvic, a second feature-length interview with cast members Tahmoh Penikett and Tygh Runyan and production designer Robb Wilson King, and the last approx. 40-minute interview is with producers Mike Frislev of Nomadic Pictures.  Extras do not stop there with a director’s cut of Monte Hellman’s “Stanley’s Girlfriend,” the original full-length cut of Ken Russell’s “The Girl with the Golden Breasts,” and a 5-part making-of with cast and crew archive interviews, a new visual essay Hollywood Parasite:  Hysteria in Trapped Ashes by journalist and physical media expert Ryan Verrill and film professor Dr. Will Dodson.  This is the so-called standard release compared to its Deluxe Limited Edition companion release, but this release is also pretty deluxe physically.  There’s no limited O-slipcover but the unique, almost 70’s-eseque cover design is appealing yet simple with a reverse side depicting an image of the wrapround characters inside the Hysteria house dining room or commune area.  The UHD and Blu-ray overlap each other in their differentiated locking mechanism on the ride of the clear Amaray case while the left insert portion holds a Deaf Crocodile QR code for access of the transcribed bonus content.  This release has the rated R cut with a runtime of 104 minutes and is region encoded A playback only.

Last Rites: Anthologies can be the antithesis of horror – building and dropping tension, an innate broken narrative, different stylistic choices that disunify the entire film, etc., but if campy enough, if not taken too seriously, if cast John Saxon, Henry Gibson, and Dick Miller, “Trapped Ashes” can find a home in the genre and in our collections with a new and extra-loaded Deaf Crocodile 4K UHD and Blu-ray set.

4K and Blu-ray “Trapped Ashes” from Deaf Crocodile. Available Here!

Gimme an E. Gimme a V. Gimme an I. Gimme a L. What’s that Spell? EVIL! “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” reviewed! (MVD Rewind Collection / Blu-ray)

“Cheerleader’s Wild Weekend” Now Back Available on Blu-ray!

Three rival school’s cheerleader squads board a school bus heading to Sacramento to face off in an annual cheer competition.  Detoured to an isolated, less-traveled road late at night, the bus is hijacked by members of the National American Army of Freedom, a group of ex-football players given the shaft for their individualized reasons.  The play caller leading the group is Wayne Mathews, former star quarterback cut loose from his team because of a bum arm, kidnaps the bus full of teenage girls to extort a handsome ransom to get him and four of his terroristic teammates back into the game of life.  Not looking to harm one hair on girls’ heads, Wayne attempts to keep his colleagues from exploiting their bargaining chips while also keeping to the well-designed plan to evade capture and still obtain the cash prize, but when Wayne’s away, it’s up to the cheerleaders to put their differences aside, come together with their own plan, and give the kidnapper a school spirited taste of their own devious medicine.

An odd hybrid of a sexualized teen comedy, blackmail crime thriller, and sleazy exploitation, “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend,” also known as “The Great American Girl Robbery,” hails as a full out filching and fleshy feature from Jeff Werner as his debut feature before helming the dark comedy surrounding the atomic bomb formula-carrying monkey of “Die Laughing,” starring Charles Durning and Peter Coyote, and his subsequent move from fictional film to documentary for the remainder of his career.  The 1979 film is cowritten between D.W. Gilbert and costar and cult actor Jason Williams, “Flesh Gordon” himself.   Adult film executive producer Bill Osco (“Tijuana Blue,” “The Incredible Body Snatchers”) finances the lesser explicit skin flick after the success of “Flesh Gordon” and intense crime spree thriller “Cop Killers,” both films of which have Jason Williams in significant roles in their long time collaboration, and is produced by an onset Chuck Russell who would later go on to write and direct “The Blob” remake and “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3:  Dream Warriors.”

On the cusp adult film actor Jason Williams who didn’t mind showing some skin for “Flesh Gordon” or the parodical tune of the Lewis Carroll kid’s story with “Alice in Wonderland:  An X-Rated Musical Fantasy,” but “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” was different for Williams who not only kept his clothes on for most of the picture but also tried to keep others from taking their clothes off as well.  As quarterback gone quintessential eyes-on-the-prize kidnapper Wayne Mathews, Williams co-drives the narrative from the perspective of the heist in a focused attention on staying one step ahead of the bumbling and birdbrain detectives (Marc Isaacs and Hugh Brennenman).  Kristine DeBell, who co-starred with Williams as the titular character Alice in “Alice in Wonderland:  An X-Rated Musical Fantasy, copiloted as Debbie Williams who became the representative portion of the defenseless, scared, and quite cheeky cheerleaders held captive in a rural cabin as Matthews hones in on the $2 million in ransom money.  While the black and white plan for Mathews is just that, crime comes in many shades of color, and sexuality, and in intelligence within his accomplice network of failed football teammates, a sexually pent-up buxom chaperone, and even the fleeting desires of his younger brother, Billy (Robert Houston, 77’s “The Hills Have Eyes”).  Mathews right hand man George Henderson (Anthony Lewis), Big John Hunsacker (John Albert), and Frankie (Courtney Sands) become the ultimate problem that buries the original crux of the kidnapping with sordid inclinations for physical abuse toward the girls than what Mathews has in mind and becomes the spur for the cheerleaders, including LaSalle (Tracy King, “Mansion of the Doomed”), Wally Ann Wharton (“Up In Smoke”), Deslyn Bernet, and others, to fight back against their deviant, hornier captors. 

Werner’s debut is literally a wavy rollercoaster of pulled back levity with good-time voluptuousness and a strong browbeating back-and-forth rivalry amongst of a few honkytonk barrels of laughs while, in the same breath, can be deeply troubling with its side dishes of attempted rape, verbal abuse, and sexual grooming of what’s supposed to be high school cheerleaders (or maybe College cheerleaders…it’s not very clear in the narrative).  You don’t know whether to laugh in relief or be tense with the unsettling advances.  Plenty of gratuitous nudity doesn’t help the matter as a handful of select leaders of the school packs are willing to bare skin albeit being held at gunpoint in this twofaced tale.  With lead principals Wayne Mathews and Debbie Williams, a firm position is held, a genuine felt love interest is formed, and their unspoken body language is clear to the end, providing much needed release from the grip of ebb-and-flow emotions.  Another push toward the accolades of comedy are the two detectives and a blatennt archetype of undercover cops who, in football terms, fumble their way through a sting operation to catch the crooks while the crooks, meaning the Mathews brothers, find reward and redemption, such as Wayne’s bum arm comes through tossing a bag full of $2 million through the air and into the getaway car, with their indifferent yet simultaneous compassion for the held cheerleaders.  $2 Million in $20 dollar notes is about 220lbs per my calculations so that’s one heck of a throwing arm! 

Rewind back to 1979 with MVD’s Rewind Collection label and check out “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” on their new Blu-ray release.  The 1080p high-definition presentation comes onto an AVC encoded, BD25 with the widescreen aspect ratio of 1.78:1, cropped slightly from the original 1.85:1.  The print used for the transfer looks to be print from the now defunct label, Scorpion Releasing, for the company’s 2009 Blu-ray that’s been out of print for some time now.  Print care helps define a broader color palette with the occasional pop of red or yellow moments of higher contrast moments and details, such as glass speckling, groove shadows and textures of a varietal of hair color and consistencies, and other miniscule points of the milieu that emerge through, or pork through according to Courtney Sands’ large white shirt pokies, but leading into lesser light lends to a crushed blacks that swallow object definition and shape.  However, there is some print damage in the form of dust and dirt, a few instances of vertical scratching, and what looks to be cutting damage during a scene transition.  Unlike the Scorpion Releasing Blu-ray that encoded the DTS-HD MA audio codec, the MVD release uses an uncompressed English LPCM mono that sizes up fidelity of the original track.  Surprising being a 25Gig capacity, the uncompressed files appear to maximize the audio without compromising quality.  The verbose dialogue has elevated appeal without steeping to an imbalance, making every individual voice seem like they’re on the same plane of existence in the clean and clear rendition.  Ambience noise is inlaid with consideration for medium range and depth that’s required of this production, mostly close-range gunfire, tire screeches, engine noise, and chases through the brush, that are within arm’s length or a stone’s throw from the camera.  English subtitles are available for selection.  Special features are from the Scorpion Releasing’s archive with an audio commentary with director Jess Werner, actress Tracey King, and editor Gregory McClatchy, a second audio commentary with principal actress Kristine DeBell, an interview with Debell, an interview with principal actor Jason Williams, an interview with Tracey King aka Marilyn Joi, an interview with Leon Isaac Kennedy, an alternate title card sequence with “The Great American Girl Robbery,” a photo gallery, and the original theatrical trailer.  The primarily white and red colored, O-slip cover art has a retrograde façade of a VHS rental complete with mock peeling stickers and dirty edges overtop the film’s marketing of a half-naked cheerleader covered just in pom-poms.  Blu-ray Amaray case sports same image but cleaner without the faux VHS trappings. Inside is a folded mini poster of said art in the insert field and the disc is labeled pressed with the textured grooves of a VHS cassette.  The region free release comes not rated and has a runtime of 96 minutes.

Last Rites: Jeff Werner’s first feature is full of spirit and shapely misguided youth and frustrated former football players in this light sex comedy concealing darker, predatory behavior beneath the surface. “Cheerleaders’ Wild Weekend” will cause snickering and titillating excitement while also tense your gut in what’s an amalgamation of a jest and jostling, bare-chested, good-old-fashion American heist film.

“Cheerleader’s Wild Weekend” Now Back Available on Blu-ray!

An Invisible, EVILociraptor is No Walk in Jurassic Park! “The Invisible Raptor” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertainment / Blu-ray)

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!

 once promising paleontologist is reduced to being a dinosaur theme park sideshow act after being swindled and sued for a discovery of a lifetime aboard.  When a deadly and intelligent lab created raptor escapes from its maximum-security confines, the paleontologist, an attractive ex-girlfriend returning into his life, and an eager townie security guard with no friends must put a stop to the first living, breathing carnivorous dinosaur in 65 million years, but tracking down an invisible creature with razor sharp talons and teeth is no easy task, and they must follow the carnage and bloodshed of its wake in order to stop it.  With little resources, relying mostly on the paleontologist’s expertise and the chummy security guard’s willingness to take life-or-death risks for his new friends, the trio rope in a local, rough-around-the-edges chicken farmer to persuade the foul ancestor into a madcap trap before the whole town becomes raptor food. 

Audiences shouldn’t care about another “Jurassic Park” sequel.  Instead, any cretaceous period anticipation should all be channeled and focused toward Mikey Hermosa’s “The Invisible Raptor.”  The 2023 comedy-horror is not land of the lost as it lands right in our homes on a new physical media release.  Written between first feature film writers Mike Capes and Johnny Wickham, the “Dutch Hollow” director Hermosa is not one bit phased by the prospect that his main villain is every bit nasty and furious as antagonists come but is entirely out of sight!   With the challenge accepted, Hermosa aims to pull of the next big comedy-horror dinosaur film since “Tammy and the T-Rex” while ribbing in fun it’s bigger, more successful, campy-somber, franchised brethren mercilessly.  Hermosa coproduces the Showbiz Baby and Valecroft production with writers Capes and Wickham as well as William Ramsey and Nic Neary with Well Go USA owning the theatrical and at-home presentation rights. 

Capes writes for himself as the hard-up paleontologist Dr. Grant Walker, a play on Sam Neill’s Dr. Allen Grant, who has succumb to being of caricature of his profession and while the Dr. Walker is downcast despite his credentials, educations, and reputation, opposite him is the town goof Deniel “Denny” Denielson (David Shackelford, “Beneath”), a friendless, family-less, theme park security guard who’s repute amongst his peer is lower than fossilized dinosaur crap, but his attitude remains cheerful and positive.  The two characters complement each other with budding growth in their arcs of Dr. Walker not pushing people away like he did with ex-girlfriend Amber (Caitlin McHugh) and Denny, with every ounce of his hillbilly being, trying to a fault to make a friend.  There’s a slew of eccentric side characters but one not more as colorful as chicken farmer Henrietta McClusky.  Played by the early 70-year-old Sandy Martin, the “Scalpel” role debuting actress who had a profound supporting character career having had a role in “Napolean Dynamite” and “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” in recent years continues her dry humor, dark comedy run with the Henrietta role a crude, rude, and with ton of attitude poultry farmer with a no nonsense way about her and while Henrietta is a deeply sexual creature in her own right, the amorous tension lies in between Walker and Amber that have instantly become two magnets in rekindling their lost flame.  The ease of which the two characters are written to be instantly smitten is greatly construction to be an almost an unattainable relationship by introducing a child with no relationship to either one of them, a decade long gap without a ton of hurt feelings for the other’s sudden decision of career over love, and, the obvious, a large, man-eating, invisible predator repelling the two magnets apart.  Sprinkled with familiar faces, “The Invisible Raptor” rounds out with notable cult film actors, such as Richard Riehle (“Office Space,” “Hatchet”), Larry Hankin (“Armed and Dangerous,” “Home Alone”), and Sean Astin (“Encino Man,” “Lord of the Rings”) as well as a cameo appearance from Vanessa Chester who played Dr. Ian Malcolm’s daughter in “The Lost World” in another potshot at the “Jurassic Park” series.

Between the hilariously staged “Jurassic Park” callback moments and an unnerving number of gags around the butt region (raptor feces, fossilized raptor buttholes, butt jokes in general), “The Invisible Raptor” has a lot of humor that’s either smart or misses the mark, but not by much in the cogently confined venture packed full of heart, heroism, and havoc on a prehistoric, science-fiction level.  “The Invisible Raptor” may be a modern-day gory comedy-horror but that gory-horror element combined with a bit of underground covert weaponization of dinosaur has a real throwback sense to the early 90’s to early 2000’s dino-horror, such as the “Carnosaur” films, “Tammy and the T-Rex,” and, of course, “Jurassic Park.”  Dino-horror is a niche subgenre that’s rare explored unless it’s totally satirical (“The Velocipastor,” “The Jurassic Dead”) or rooted more in a lost world aspect, sporadically released throughout the decades with “Raptor Island” or the more perilous journey of “Land of the Lost,” original series and it’s more comedic feature remake.  Hermosa quickly moves out from the testing bunker lab that has been the Raptor’s home and where the scientist treat it like an adored, harmless child, a theme of attachment to harmful things we shouldn’t be attached to and gets right into the mayhem by letting it loose in only a way one could perceive a raptor would – in indiscriminating bloodshed.   Hermosa also doesn’t flinch with an invisible titular foe, one the actors have to mentally conjure up to play against in a combative or cat-and-mouse scene, with neatly composited special and visual effects of floating objects, quickly consumed severed heads, and silhouette work through blood spray, heat vision, and a shower curtain by the talented Steve Johnson (“Lord of Illusions,” “Species II”) and Dorian Cleavenger, both of who bring years of experience and both of whom have worked together for the effects of Robert Englund’s “Fear Clinic.” 

Audiences won’t see this one coming!  “The Invisible Raptor” debuts onto an AVC encoded, high-def 1080p, Blu-ray courtesy of Well Go USA Entertainment.  The single-layer BD initiates some cause for concern on the image presentation prior to viewing but the picture produced is solid and stable with no banding in the darker voids, especially in those areas since there is no Raptor to be seen mostly during the night exteriors, poorly lit underground laboratory, or in the lowly key-lit interiors, there’s more shaded and hallow space exposed in the 1.78:1 widescreen aspect ratio.  Textured details are generally adequate with a softer, smoother touch from capacity compression, coupled with a hazy warm yellow-green lighting scheme.  The more standard, non-stylistic shots have better definition to where the details on Dr. Walker’s paleontologist outfit stand out amongst the eye glazing brown-and-tan colors and in the gooey grooves of the Velociraptor fecal matter complete with yellow kernels of corn.  Visual effects are handled with not too revealed explicitly to limit noticeable computer imagery and keep all that is practical the focus.  Audio options come in two English formats – a DTS-HD 5.1 and Stereo 2.0.  The range on this mix is explosive as it is subtle right down the clicks and grunts of the assumed noises one would be led to believe a prehistorical, carnivorous raptor would make.  Dialogue renders clearly and definitively prominent amongst ensuring bedlam cacophony whenever there’s a dino-crises in a more than one people grouping; the audio compilation has been carefully layered to denote exactly what’s intended to be discerned at that moment. English and French subtitles are available. There are no encoded special features on fluid menu of this feature only release but there is a quick bonus scene at the end credits. The physical copy has only a little bit more in the way of extra content with a cardboard, tactile-titled O-slipcover sporting the current state of arranged character pyramid composite. The snap lock Blu-ray Amaray is standard with the same cover art and no tangible extras inside. Rated R for bloody violence and gore, crude sexual material, drug use, and brief graphic nudity, Well Go USA’s release is region A encoded for playback and has a runtime of nearly 2 hours at 114 minutes.

Last Rites: Though the raptor may be invisible, this release should be seen by all! “The Invisible Raptor” is a hilarious “Jurassic Park” parody with plenty of bite, plenty of fun, and plenty of non-visible computer-generated dinosaurs, especially for those who are feeling the dinosaur fatigue.

“Insivible Raptor” Tearing Onto Bluray! Buy it Here!