Dump Buckets and Buckets of Water Back into this Dry EVIL Well. “Ring Shark” reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Ring Shark” Now Curses the DVD Market! Own It Here!

For the subscribers of her Youtube show, vlogging social media influence Kanamasa and her co-host search for a stone well rumored to be in a haunted forest surrounded by unfriendly villagers who aggressively ward off unwelcomed visitors.  Upon discovering the well, a shark-like creature emerges suddenly and bites Kanamasa, scaring them off.  A few days later, another pair of Youtube investigators of the Psychic Investigations Big Summer learn of Khana’s disappearance after her last video surfaces of what looks to be a shark fin and then a ghastly body surfaces from within her bathtub, attacking her bikini-garbed body.  Seeking the truth and eager to find Khana, the investigators conduct interviews with “shark” experts and attempt to visit the same well only to be shooed off by the villagers until, finally, they’re able to reach the same spot and experience the same sharp-teethed horror lurking within it.  Unknowingly, that same supernatural terror of the well had follow them home. 

Sharksploitation has admittedly gotten out of hand.  The beloved horror subgenre that began with Steven Spielberg and Bruce the mechanical monstrous shark who terrorized the beaches of Amity Island have since drowned in its own watery subcategory of the ocean’s maneater predators with microbudget ineptitude that takes the shark from its natural ecosystem and rehomes it in a miscellany of nonsense locations, such as on land, in the weather, and even circling in toilets.  Well, today is the day we’ve come across a movie been assimilated into that same fatuous collective with “Ring Shark,” aka “Well Shark,” aka “Ido Shark.”  The Japanese, found-footage comedy-horror is the first of a trio of incongruous shark films released between 2023 and 2024 by Taichiro Natsume with “Love Shark” and “Last Shark” to follow, connected by the Big Summer team of Psychic Investigators.  Natsume also wrote and produced the feature.

Unfamiliar with the Psychic Investigator Big Summer series, which there’s uncertainty if Big Summer is a Japanese comedic troupe, equivalent to the Broken Lizard of America, what “Ring Shark, or “Ido Shark” begins is a series of various haunted case probes by the Big Summer team, which in this film in particular include actors using modifications of or using their actual names as characters in the story, such as director Taichiro Natsume being the single male lead in the group under character name Daiichiro Natsume.  Daiichiro Natsume can be a bumbling, yet persistent fool when it comes to the mysterious case of Kana-san with his steady motif of exclaiming his love for big boobs and determination to resolve the mystery.  He’s joined by colleagues on-and-off screen in Momoka Asahi and Chihiro Nishikawa, the latter not to be confused with Chihiro Nishikawa of JVA.  While Nishikawa and Natsume continue the running gag conversating about big breasts, Momoka Asahi enters the picture much later as the third investigating team member when Natsume goes down with a well shark bite infection that haunts him from the inside out and puts him in the hospital.  From there, Nishikawa and Momoka take the reigns on investigation by not only tending to Natsume’s dwindling health but also interviewing internet paranormal sleuths Hiroshima Freddy, a Japanese horror influence in real life, as well as Black Story Kuro, who I imagine is another influencer but couldn’t confirm it.  Typically, the Japanese language has a ton of fluid inflections and tones that dictates situations and mood, but “Ring Shark” avoids much of the vocal ups-and-downs with a consistently level tone of flat and dry humor peppered with fear, arbitrary bickering, and a pinch of kawaii to sustain a semi-serious documentary style investigation.  Maya Mineo, Issei Kunisawa, Yacch Chara, Daiki Mizuno, Honey Trap, Umeki, and the wrestler known as The Shark fills out the cast.

“Ring Shark” is “Blair Witch Project” meets “The Ring.”  The latter having the most prominent appearance as the at home media, that was once titled, or probably is likely titled in Japan, as “Ido Shark,” is marketed for U.S. consumption because every moviegoer is either well versed or knows of Hideo Nakata’s “The Ring” series and its heebie-jeebies Samara spirit.  Instead of a cursed tape that summons Samara out of the depths of her murdered resting spot, a well, to kill anyone after a week of viewing said tape, “Ring Shark” only real connective tissue to “The Ring” is that there is a well in the story and a murdered girl’s body was dumped inside.  That’s it.  From there, the structure is more to the tune of “Blair Witch Project” with a pseudo-found footage of one social media’s disappearance igniting the Psychic Investigator Big Summer team to check it out after the tape is brought to their attention form Kanasama’s co-host.  The docu-style incorporates dry wit of interviewing shark experts, creature academics, urban legend connoisseurs, and thorough analysts and researchers, as well as themselves as angry villagers and a supernatural hand puppet shark head subverts their stratospheric sublayer with soul-chumming results.  Yet, none of everything just said really clicks in a flimsy and slapdashedly put together microbudget story derived for effect for true and absurd exploitation of sharks gone wild. 

“Ring Shark” swims right into SRS Cinema’s well-house with a brand-new DVD from the microbudget cult film distributor.  Upscaled to 1080p, the MPEG2 encoded, single layer DVD5 presents the Big Summer production ion a widescreen 1.85:1 aspect ratio.  Though upscaled to 1080p, the cell phone footage renders stretched limitations under the light of low-budget constraints.  Night vision and poor lighting coupled with closeups-to-extreme closeups, and shaky camera work dematerializes story-important images.  Natural lit and stationary camera work provide cleaner visuals in what is mostly a deluge of exposition and regular camera angles without atmospheric makeup.  The Japanese language Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo provides lean composition with ample inherent surrounding ambience, picking up the natural wildlife chirping in the background, the vocal amplification of someone talking through a microphone, the hustle and bustle of a restaurant, etc. Dialogue isn’t impeded by the commercial phone camera recording that creates a rather good reproduction and diffusion of sound amongst the space.  Added audio effects, such as the shark’s growling or snarling, does feel unnaturally alienated from the rest of the audio but works to the film’s advantage despite the obvious hand puppetry.  English subtitles are burned in but do synch well and appear error free. There’s also what looks to be double English subtitles along with Japanese title cards or subtitles that are a part of the Youtube investigation and often coincide with the main English subtitles in a distracting, screen space absorbing real estate. The Japanese electro-rap graced static menu, which samples Lil Jon’s Yeeeah, contains no bonus feature selection; instead, the bonus content is right on the main menu with short film “Shark of the Dead” (8.26 minutes) and the “Ring Shark” trailer.  I love bad movie cover art and SRS Cinema’s “Ring Shark” is no exception with smokey-eyed, electrically charged, and monstrously toothy shark breaching from a little stone well underneath “The Ring”-font film title.  The disc is pressed with the same image and there are no inserts included.  The barely hour-long film, clocking in at 63-minutes, comes not rated and has a region free playback.

Last Rites: “Ring Shark” is a monumental prosaic mockumentary aimed to swell Sharksploitation into further ill-repute and disrepair with an unfunny and uninteresting undertaking of underwhelming pastiche.

“Ring Shark” Now Curses the DVD Market! Own It Here!

Daddy’s EVIL Little Secret. “The Beast Within” reviewed! (Well Go USA Entertainment / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“The Beast Within” is Calling! Own Your Copy Here!

Infirmed 10-year-old girl Willow witnesses one night a month her mother whisking away her rather distant father into the dense woods deep within the English countryside.  When brought home the next day, her father must be helped carried in, appearing haggard and weak from his strange and mysteriously kept overnight departure far from home.  The secret festers between the parents, as well with her grandfather, to a point where tensions rise to the surface and the family is slowly falling and drifting apart.  One night, Willow decides to sneak onto one of those one-a-month egresses and discovers her father, left chained inside a dilapidated structure in the middle of the wooded nowhere, transforms into a horrible beast.  From that point on, the family secret was no more, and she must come to terms with her parents’ deception and their struggling family cohesion before the next full moon rises above their isolated home compound.

Lycanthrope films are on the rise with the anticipation of two new theatrical releases that have seen positive reactions just by their trailers alone with “The Invisible Man’s” Leigh Whannell staying in the Dark Universe with “Wolf Man,” slated for the silver screen January of 2025, and “Scream of the Banshee’s” Steven C. Miller going wild and hair near this Christmas season with his chaotic and carnage-ladened “Werewolves.”  Kicking it off in the werewolf category however is English director Alexander J. Farrell making his debut fictional feature with “The Beast Within.”  The 2024 released conceited thriller plays on a child’s perception of events, especially when she sees her parents joyless faces, co-written by Farrell and more seasoned screenwriter Grear Ellison (“A Woman At Night”) and both have worked previously on Farrell’s last two projects, a documentary entitled “Making a Killing” that sheds like an antiquated law that results in capping financial need after preventable medical negligence and another cowritten session, a RomCom in “How to Date Billy Walsh” that was also released in 2024.  The UK production comes from a conglomerate of companies in Paradox House, Future Artist Entertainment, and private equity group Filmology Finance and is produced by the father-son duo Gary and Ryan Hamilton of Archlight Films who oversaw global sales of the film, Martin Owen, Tammy Batshon, Spencer Friend, Evan Ross, Sebastian Street, and Paolo Pilladi.

Looking for his next big hit to branch out from the shadow of “Game of Thrones’” bastard hero, Jon Snow, is Kit Harrington taking the headlining role as an intermittent explosive disorder father struggling to keep his family whole because of his own family curse.  Often resembling the HBO role that made him a household name when donning that iconic large fur coat that became an innate symbol of the Stark family, Harrington’s Noah character fails to become uniquely recognized as he’s quite the mystery with little background to his compound abode and his occupation of what seems to be a lumberjack of sorts, always cutting down trees in the nearby forest.  What’s even more mysterious is the family lineage of temporarily transmogrifying into an aggressive, animalistic beast when the full moon is high.  His reason for being cursed stems mostly from anecdotal knowledge of his own grandfather’s tragic history with being plagued by the same condition.  This places Noah’s family onto spider-cracking eggshells as his wife Imogen (Ashleigh Cummings, “NOS4A2”) finds herself loyal to a fault by caring for Noah’s condition but taking the brunt of his abusive behavior all the while daughter Willow (“Caoilinn Springall, “Stopmotion”) initially doesn’t know what’s truly happening but has this underlining fear of her father, noted by wedging her rocking horse underneath her room’s door handle every night.  Willow’s grandfather and Imogen’s dad Waylon (James Cosmo, “Highlander”) serves as a buffer between Noah and his family, maybe even perhaps the voice of reason.  Performances are mostly strong with Harrington forcing Noah’s hand a little to be brutish, a quality that doesn’t quite stick as intended.  There’s also some finale unresolve essentials with Waylon that doesn’t determine his fate as we’re left with only a threadbare implied outcome, an unfortunate state for one of the handful of principal characters.  The supporting actors rounds out with Ian Giles and Martina McClements (“When the Lights Went Out”) who never share scenes with the key intimate cast.

Aforementioned, “The Beast Within” is from the perspective of a child, in this case a child with great imaginative qualities as seen with her hobby of matchitecture of her home and nearby buildings, but the story is also definitively an allegory for an abusive husband and father that uses the lycanthrope mythology as a bestial symbol for one man’s vile nature.  Noah’s deceptive behavior lures in what the family wants, a loving husband and adoring father providing, protecting, and caring for them, but Farrell strings along a hidden truth with spot visual clues of Noah’s true self.  Those clues are terribly evident to the family devolution but there’s also a stasis of hope when Noah’s charm and smile glimmer through the cracks of his monstrous shell that’s mostly kept at bay from the audience.  The allegory keeps well until the end and then the allegory loses its legs and not mounting to much when everything laid before our eyes in the story is suddenly washed away by Farrell’s inability to stick with his metaphorical story and go explicit in the last few scenes when the child’s perspective veil is dropped, as if the new feature director couldn’t trust audiences to come to their own conclusions.  Yet, timeless set locations in the expansive English countryside, the compound set design, performances, and the limited but practical effects of the wolf man add to the independent film’s slow burn horror-dramaturgy that seizes the opportunity to label man a beast under his worst genetical conditions. 

A terrible, dark, ancestral secret can never be contained and now the terrible animal is loose onto Blu-ray home video from Well Go USA Entertainment.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 stacks up against the rest of the label’s catalogue as par for the course with a slightly softer image mostly under natural daylight and key night lighting and foundationally based with a mixture of yellow and red hues.  Though soft, details are not lost.  There’s an abundance of sharper medium to closeup shots, especially in darker scenes, where granular textures surface and the layers separate more distinctly.  Where the softness prevails is in the exterior wide shots of the 1.78:1 aspect ratio that can’t seem to not only create a greater sense of space but also can’t fathom the finer diversities of road, land, forest, and structure in what is likely a dovetail diffusion of color around the edges.  Ultimately, your brain figures it out but to the eyes the landscape is a bit one noted.  There is a pinch of splodgy murkiness in the shadows that doesn’t affect the presentation immensely.  The English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 diffuses the layers with solid balance.  There’s plenty of isolated audio capillaries to carry over the ambiance denotations of an ever-present fear, such as the howling wind, the violent banging of a fortified gate, or even the animalistic sounds deep in the distance, creating the depth needed to present danger from afar.  This is also coupled with tighter tension of closer vibrations, the hacking of the trees, the creaking of a floors, etc., for heightened lossless reproduction.  Dialogue renders clearly and cleanly throughout.  English and French subtitles are available for preference.  In the special features department, this Well Go USA release only comes with the film’s trailer plus pre-feature previews of other label releases.  The Blu-ray disc is pressed with a clawed imagery inside a standard Blu-ray Amaray with snap-lock and has only an advert card in the insert for this film, sharing space with “Twilight of the Warriors:  Walled In” and “You Gotta Believe.”  Rated R for Strong Violent Content and Language, “The Beast Within” has a runtime of 97 minutes and is listed as region A playback only but I was able to play the disc in Region B. 

Last Rites: “The Beast Within” is a by-the-book and subdued English allegory for fearsome behavior and Farrell’s debut is finely drawn but up to a point when audiences are quickly subjected to an unnecessary and redundant end-all, tell-all of daddy’s true being.

“The Beast Within” is Calling! Own Your Copy Here!

Disguise as the Dead to Defeat EVIL! “The Shadow Boxing” reviewed! (88 Films / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Corpse Herding Isn’t Easy in “The Shadow Boxing.” Purchase Your Copy Here!

Corpse herder Fan Chun-Yuen has studied Master Chen for years, learning the ritual incantations and mastering the nuances of getting the dead home to their loved ones for proper burial.  What should have been a routine corpse herding goes astray when the last arrival of a corpse, a bald man, seemingly has issues following the simple incantations and master Chen’s leg is broken during a misunderstanding over gambling winnings at one of their resting pitstops.  Being left with no choice, Fan Chun-Yuen must herd the rest of the hopping corpses, publicly feared as hopping vampires, to their terminus with the aid of aspiring corpse herder and an undeterred woman Ah-Fei.  At the same time, criminal overlord Zhou, a casino owner, and a corrupt military leader are in search of a moral sub-lieutenant who can foil their plans and who has seemingly evaded all military checkpoints in route to Zhou, leaving the corpse herding understudies in the middle of a danger. 

The jiāngshī, or hopping vampire, is the Chinese version of the living dead, whether be a vampire, zombie, or a ghost in the country’s folklore.  In Chia-Liang Liu’s 1979 comedy-actioner “The Shadow Boxing,” the horror element of the jiāngshī is reduced to no more than a few false scares on the Chinese cultural collectiveness of superstitious fears.  Originally known as “Mao shan jiang shi quan” and also known as “The Spiritual Boxer II,” the film is considered a quasi-sequel to also Liu’s 1975 “The Spiritual Boxer” but only in association to the director and one of the principal actors and not a direct, character-connecting sequel by any other means.  The late “Human Lanterns” and “Demon of the Lute” writer Kuang Ni pens the script with Kung-fu comedy in mind amongst seedy corruption aimed to thwart tradition and principles, shot in Hong Kong by Celestial Entertainment on the Shaw Brothers studio lot, and produced by younger Shaw brother, Run Run or Shao Renleng. 

The actor who carries over from “The Spiritual Boxer” is “Dirty Ho” star Yue Wong in the role of corpse herding apprentice with a bad memory, Fan Chun-Yuen.  Wong’s character is a likeable learner who has the skills to be great at his vocation but lacks the confidence without being tethered to his master, played as drunkard and obsessive gambler by Chia-Liang’s brother, Chia-Young Liu, a longtime stunt man (“Once Upon A Time in China,” “The Savage Killers”) and actor (“The Return of the One Armed Swordsman,” “Five Fingers of Death”).  Fan Chun-Yuen tries to keep his sifu on a straighten arrow and focus on the task on hand and Wong and Chia-Liang invest that dynamic wholeheartedly while maintaining their sense of strength outside military force and criminal brutality to be masters under the flags of good and just.  Between them, a level of trust and reliance is displayed through their fighting casino goons and military soldiers where Wong needs his master to shout commands of the vampire style due to his bad memory.  There’s almost zero context on why that is but adds a melted layer of slip-in, slip-out comedy to make it unusually entertaining.  An understudy of the understudy and borderline love interest comes from Cecilia Wong (“The Hunter, the Butterfly and the Crocodile”) as Ah-Fei, a friend of Fan Chun Yuen who doesn’t want an arranged marriage but has an underscoring coyness with Fan Chun but their misadventures delivering the beloved bodies to grieving relatives proves to be difficult and much of their shenanigans to try and make their “mastery” believable in order to deliver the goods gets in the way of that amorous connection.  Also in the way are the corruptive forces hellbent to track down Chang Chieh (another Liu brother in Gordon Liu, “Kill Bill”) before he foils their transgressions, coinciding with performances from Lung Chan, Han Chiang, Wu-liang Chang, and Norman Chu.

“The Shadow Boxing” finely blends the chop-socky action with mystical folklore and comedy that’s not overly slapstick or buffoonery.  A serious layer runs through the middle of story and while the line chart fluctuates between peaks of let-loose Wing Chun and then violent sway the other direction with fleeting spikes of death and ghoulish shades, there’s never a tiresome tone of stagnating acts as Kuang Ni’s script develops and progresses upon the micro and macro dynamics of good versus evil characters, especially how Ni slyly introduces audiences to the last and bald corpse and it’s diverging acts of not exactly following incantational direction, in a mistakenly, humorous way.  The off feeling is there of baldie being of some importance but not until more third-party clues come to light halfway through the runtime and it’s by then the lightbulb begins to flutter and anticipatory wait for exposure begins.  If looking at “The Shadow Boxing” on a more comprehensive scale in the martial arts genre, the pace of fighting emulates too much on the lines of choreography counting.  Slow and herky-jerky, there’s not a smooth transition of moves in either of the individualized faceoffs or in the group skirmishes that doesn’t reflect well upon the stunt department as martial arts is the centerpiece of the action.  Every other aspect of creating tension and levity with the action works perfectly only to be lopsided by the sudden starts, stops, starts of checklist kick and punches. 

88 Films’ North American label lands the new high-definition release of “The Shadow Boxing” with an AVC encoded, 1080p, BD50.  The transfer is processed from the original negative and presented in the original Cinemascope aspect ratio of a 2.35:1.  The anamorphic lens used compresses the image, creating a spherical or rounded out sides on tighter shots, a known issue for the lenses of those times.  The 35mm negative has won the test of time with a near spotless print that 88 Films sharpens the color palette and defines the broader details with texture lacing, decoding the image at an average of 33Mbps.  There are times the details appear too texturally chiseled with the Shaw Brothers’ set backgrounds exposed as obviously painted backdrops, see the final showdown fight.  A single audio, uncompressed output of a LPCM Mandarin 2.0 mono is offered on the release.  The track comprises enough overlapping range of effects to sturdy the sound design almost as if it was an innate recording.  The instilled post effects have the traditional Chinese martial arts flare of whacks and thunks but added with greatly synchronous care whereas the dialogue, though clean and present at the front, has the expected timing issues with an intensity level that doesn’t quite match at times.  English subtitles are optionally available.  Surprisingly, this is one of the few 88 Films releases without special features other than the original trailer.  Instead, the label elevates the physical release with a limited-edition stunning monochromatic and illustrated cover art by Mark Bell with subtle tactile elements on the cardboard O-slipcover.  The same image is showcased as the primary clear Amaray cover art but with slightly more color added to it while the reverse sleeve features the original Hong Kong poster art.  The LE also comes with 4 collectable artcards, though they’re more still image cards than art.  The not rated, 101-minute runtime 88 Films release is encoded for only two of the three regions with an A and B playback.

Last Rites: Hong Kong cinema has been fast, loose, and either furiously funny or folklorically fist over hard-hitting fist and Chia-Liang Liu’s “The Shadow Boxing” takes into account both now on a format pedestal with a new Blu-ray release from 88 Films!

Corpse Herding Isn’t Easy in “The Shadow Boxing.” Purchase Your Copy Here!

Feminism’s EVIL Plan Thwarted by CIA Hunk in “The Million Eyes of Sumuru” reviewed! (Blue Underground / Extended Edition 4K UHD and Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Sumuru’s Eyes Are Everywhere, Even Here on Amazon! Purchase the 4K and Standard Blu-ray Set Here!

Tall, handsome, and witty CIA agent Nick West is about to go on a much-needed vacation.  As soon as he steps outside of headquarters, he’s approached by British agent Colonel Baisbrook to cash in a favor the CIA owes the British government.  Unable to refuse, West agrees to investigate the assassination plot against one President Boong of an unnamed East Asian country.  The assassins are nothing short of extraordinary as a bunch of femme fatale infiltrators have put themselves in positions of power all over the globe as wives and girlfriends of nation leaders and President Boong is the only one that has refused to take the bait.  West and his good friend Tommy Carter find themselves quipping and philandering amongst the most dangerous female-centric organization on the planet, led by the ruthless and beautiful Sumuru.  To protect President Boong, West must become friendly with Sumuru who uses his likeness in a new elimination plot that puts him front, center, and in between saving the world or watch the men become subservient by an ambitious woman seeking world domination.

Double agents.  Foreign places.  Secret lairs.  Suave operatives.  Sexy women.  These descriptors are the very spirit of a James Bond movie.  At the height of the Sean Connery 007 era, plenty of knockoffs were produced to capitalize on the action and sex appeal of martini-drinking covert agent that rules the 1960s.  One of those copies was helmed by Lindsay Shonteff in 1967, titled “The Million Eyes of Sumuru.”  The “Devil Doll” and “Voodoo Blood Bath” director had already an espionage thriller under his directorial belt with “The 2nd Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World,” I bet you can guess who the first was during that time.  Kevin Kavanagh pens the script from the original story by legendary B-movie producer Harry Alan Towers (“The Face of Fu Manchu,” “Psycho-Circus”) that would become an incongruously and acerbically witty-tale of pseudo-feminism with hot pursuits, sensual promiscuity, and a dart gun that can turn a person to stone.  Towers also produces “The Million Eyes of Sumuru” under his LLC and filmed in Hong Kong at the Shaw Brothers Studios. 

As Sean Connery heats up the screen with his double 0 escapades through all over the global to thwart the men of evil and with an astounding amount of carbon copy espionage reels rearing to chase the all mighty buck, “The Million Eyes Sumuru” desperately needed a cast to keep afloat in a flooded spy film market.  For the most part, Towers and Shonteff’s cast pull off exactly what the story needed, a caricature of crowning chuckles subdued only by its slivers of spy game ventures.  That’s not to say there’s an abundance of gun play and fight sequences with terrific tussling as “House of 1,000 Doll’s” George Nadar uses his tall stature and ear-to-ear smile to be a lover, not a fighter in the wise-crackin’ American CIA agent Nick West.  West destroys the all-women Sumuru arsenal with just his manliness in a satirical jab at Ian Fleming’s titular protagonist and, for all intent and purposes, it works in the story to see Sumuru’s plans become ruined by not a gun nor a fist but because women in her organization, even Sumuru (Shirley Eaten, “Goldfinger”) herself, throw themselves onto him at critical moments and Nadar’s timing and screen charm laps every second of it.  Frankie Avalon (“Horror House”) and Wilfred Hyde-White (“The Third Man”) play Nick West’s allies as friend Tommy Carter and cavalier British agent Colonel Baisbrook who both play in two totally different capacities.  Tommy Carter equals West witticisms but falls behind as the friend who must journey solo to find West in the middle of Asia while Baisbrook effortlessly shows up in the nick of time to be either a savior or West’s handler with another mission in his pocket for West to reluctantly tackle.  A pair of principals that are held at bay is the beautiful Maria Rohm (“99 Women”) and the eccentric Klaus Kinski (“Nosferatu the Vampyre”) whose swift takes leave more to be desired as Rohm becomes weak-kneed on her Sumuru femme fatale application and Kinski plays drug-addicted, politically incorrect, and perverse president of this untitled Asian country. 

“The Million Eyes of Sumuru” contests to be a smartly funny, exotically set, and action-invested covert operative film of the late 60s, swimming against the current of some of the hard to beats and who have more of a legacy in the subgenre.  While “The Million Eyes of Sumuru might be more Swinging 60’s with cavalierism rather than sophistication and intent, the production value could rival the best Bond film of it’s time but it’s the stunts that drive this one down below the bar as Shonteff looks toward George Nadar’s quick wit and budding personality to be the masculine sex symbol that drives the rabid female race to their supposed manhating knees.  Its quite comical to see a firm line of feminism course through the plot’s veins, a plot where deadly women penetrate and subvert men world leaders only to become a slave to West’s dunce charm and attractive appearance.  West really isn’t the smartest of secret agents as he’s not trying to evade capture with rapid haste or fool anybody of his intentions; instead, he’s just mildly clever with broad shoulders and, apparently, that’s what women droll over instead of carrying out their loyalty pact of a global coup d’etat.   

Swinging onto the 4k Ultra HD Blu-ray bandwagon is the Blue Underground’s 2-Disc combo set UHD and Standard Blu-ray release of “The Million Eyes of Sumuro.”  The HEVC encoded, 2164p resolution, BD66 has picture quality absolution with a stunning brand-new 4K restoration transfer from the original 35mm camera negative thought originally lost.  The rich and colorful picture hits all the important markers with balanced film density that diffuses the hues nicely into every aspect of depth and focus, from the background to the foreground.  This goes for texture too.  No matter where an object lies in the frame, there’s an accurate representation in the reproduction inside the immense range of color schemes, landscapes, and textures.  Delineation is quite pleasing; the close ups of George Nader’s face exhibit ever facial feature with precision without appearing overly bright or smoothed.  The AVC encoded, 1080p resolution, BD50 Blu-ray captures much of the same finer points too on a slimmer pixel count but still denotes Blue Underground’s improved restoration, complete with inky blacks and no compressional misses to sully the quality.  The extended cut adds approx. 10 minutes of additional footage, which in these cases can often be less-than-pristine upon discovery of the elements but the additional scenes are seamlessly blended into previous releases’ runtime, suggesting the print was greatly protected from all harmful exterior factors.  A single channel English DTS-HD mono is the only mix available. Though standard and not as dynamic as more modern audio designs, the uncompressed track provides superb fidelity clearness, cleanliness, and with an even-keeled throughout.  The snappy dialogue shows prominence amongst a wide-berth range of surrounding elements.  There’s a blend of ADR and live recording, much to the chagrin of the Asian actors who have their English post-dubbed with a more accented stereotype.  English SDH are optionally available.  Capacity limitations on the UHD keep disc one to just two audio commentaries:  Film academics David Del Valle and Dan Marino on the first commentary with usual commentary notables Nathaniel Thompson and Troy Howarth on the second.  These commentaries are encoded on the Standard Blu-ray version of the film, accompanied by a new feature-length documentary England’s Unknown Exploitation Film Eccentric:  The Schlock-Cinema Legacy of Lindsay Shonteff that has historian interviewees, such as Kim Newman, discuss the brilliance of Shonteff’s work amongst the espionage thrillers of the time, an exclusive RiffTrax Edition of the film, riffed by Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy, the theatrical trailer, and the poster and still gallery.  It’s always a pleasure and a thrill to have tactile elements on the Blue Underground O-slips, such as this release with the embossed title overtop and below the memorable packed compositional, illustrated artwork.  The slightly thicker black Amaray casing houses the same artwork with a reverse side of the original Blue Underground DVD artwork.  Each interior side contain each format disc, pressed individual with the same cover arts, with the Blu-ray on the left and the UHD on the right.  Encoded for all region playback, “The Million Eyes of Sumuru” now clocks in at 89 minutes and is not rated.

Last Rites: “The Million Eyes of Sumuru” has a million positives – a farce of the espionage subgenre, cheekily acted, exotic locations, and an extended, clean-cut version from Blue Underground – to name a few that quickly surmises the Lindsay Shonteff film to be the golden gun of his repertoire.

Sumuru’s Eyes Are Everywhere, Even Here on Amazon! Purchase the 4K and Standard Blu-ray Set Here!

At Odds With Each Other Can’t Stop the EVIL That’s Coming for Them! “House of Dolls” reviewed! (VMI Releasing / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.

Estranged sisters Jenn, Diana, and Adalene are summoned to reunite by their dying father.  Greeted by their grandmother and a lawyer informing them of an inheritance within their father’s will, the verbally combative sisters are more than eager for their fair share of the will and be happy to never see each other again as they go on with their lives, but the will’s stipulation states the sisters must work together and revitalize the long severed kinship within the walls of his hand-built estate, a life-size representation of a doll house constructed for the love of his life where clues to their inheritance lie hidden inside.  Before even the first ounce of hope to mend their broken bond, one of the sisters is found brutally murdered in one of garish rooms and a masked maniac hunts for not only the two remaining sisters but also those close to them outside the house of dolls.

Juan Sala’s “House of Dolls” is the return to horror for the Texas taught director since his urban-thriller “Alp” in 2016 and the first independent story helmed that didn’t involve Sala’s going pen-to-paper with a script.  That task was handled by another Texas film school graduate, Iv Amenti, in her first feather length screenwriter credit aimed to label itself as a mystery-slasher under the guise of grueling family rejuvenation.  The 2023 released film’s story was shot on location in Los Angeles with Juan Salas solo producing the feature.  Salas is no stranger producing his own work as he’s done with most of his own repertoire (“The Triple D,” “The Wolf Catcher,” and “The Devil’s Ring”) while also branching out occasionally to support and/or fund other creative minds, such as with Brian King’s “Hell of a Night.”  Polar Bear Films produced the film along with Vantage Media International, or VMI Worldwide, who produced and distributed the film.

Powering “House of Dolls” vessel into explicit view is headliner Dee Wallace.  The “Cujo” and “Critters” scream queen has been on a junket of mom-and-pop productions for the better part of the last decade for aspiring horror filmmakers to leech off that eye-catching and weight-bearing Dee Wallace name.  Wallace reminds me of Linnea Quigley once said in an interview, if producers meet her price, she’ll star in pretty much anything.  Wallace seemingly has the same philosophy with a continuous stream of projects that screen her for no more than a total of 15-minutes, tops.  While this works to an extent, based off the prominence or the memorability of the role, most of that bankable name and face do little elevating the film, resulting in just a paycheck performance.  Sure, Wallace’s fans will check it out for the sake of Dee Wallace but for “House of Dolls,” as with the story or just as with the entity of the film, the gimmick doesn’t leave a mark.  The plot crux favors the three bickering sisters, Adalene (Violeta Ortega), Jenn (Stephanie Troyak), and Diana (Alicia Underwood).  Sibling diverging personalities uphold their seething hate for each other, that is much as obvious, but for what specific reason is never unfolded, or is unfolded but made unclear in the wake of its untidy heap.  What’s definingly unclear is the mother of these unlikeable brats.  Mentions of individually owning the unfortunate event of a mother’s death makes the ambiguous ruling that there is at least one half-sister.  They could all be half-sisters, but the unbridled dialogue and no conveyed backstory strays away from important pieces of the puzzle that make it as frustrating as trying to match a 2D puzzle piece within a 3D puzzle scheme.  The story also incorporates flimsy relationships with the sisters, Jenn’s drug buddy Justin (Jack Rain) who unexpectantly arrives with the sisters at their father’s estate, Adalene’s semi-sweet boyfriend Caleb (Phil Blevins), Diana’s vague friendzone coworker or perhaps boyfriend Lenny (Matt Blackwell”), and Diana’s out-of-nowhere go-to detective who just happens to be at her father’s hospital, dressed in beat cop fatigues, in Det. Ramierz (Meeko).  All these seedling characters are detached in their gravitational encircling around the sisters, pulling in zero weight on a story that’s quickly deflating.  Rounding out the fleeting supporting cast is Trey Peyton. 

Following “House of Dolls” plotline might as well be riddles with attention deficit disorder.  Too much is happening without the ease of transition or even sense to hold down a floating story that’s constituting forced uniformity and civility amongst rival siblings by way of a mysterious house with mysterious clues. Yet, those clues don’t flesh out and intrigue over what could have been a backstory backbone turns into gelatinous indiscretion of kill-after-kill by a leather coat-wearing masked-maniac with knives that offers up in the end being nothing more than surface level, superficial slasher.  Salas pulls off some decent, gory kills, such as a slimy disembowelment and a bisected torso that spills guts, to add some value to the production that’s ultimately equalized by areas of cut-rate props, such as the obviously flat and dull large knives that look more like cardboard than metal.  Like in true slasher tropes, the killer is seemingly everywhere at once, hopping from one location to the next, even if the other locations are across town, but this punk-cladded, homicidal maniac appears in-and-out of the alternating scenes too lackadaisically without systematic care to at least in try and make it plausible.   

VMI Releasing and MVD Visual handle the physical media distribution with a 1080p, high-definition Blu-ray.  The AVC encoded BD50 has the capacity for the eclectically ranged front lit key lighting and neon lighting, delivering a clean picture without compression issues.  Details waver between certain aspects of lighting, which is expected, but the details that do emerge pinpoint textural qualities and the key lighting reveals appropriate, vivid coloring and skin tones when contrasted against heavier background shadows.  Jorge Villa’s sizzling neon gives a warm glow in purple, blues, reds, and orange that enhances to a near music video quality outside the normal lighting and production parameters.  The film is presented in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio.  The uncompressed DTS-HD 5.1 English audio mix is an upbeat combination of verbal jabs, deregulated dialogue, and a medley of pop music and low-tone beat creator for the villain peppered with hip-hop rhythms, violin and piano down tone, and some suspense synthesized keyboard notes that do lean into what makes a decent horror soundtrack.  No complaints on the dialogue track that’s fairly level but doesn’t explore much in depth as characters are often up front and center on the camera.  There’s also not enough range to really utilize the multi-channel network and so the lack of miscellany fight for audible supremacy. Subtitles are available in English only.  Bonus features are aplenty on this larger capacity disc with Juan Salas commentary track that runs parallel to the feature, Juan Salas and Dee Wallace have a Halloween special video chat to converse about their time in production, a Natasha Martinez hosted cast Q&A for the U.S. premiere, a making-of featurette, and a MiB Legacy music video The Man Who Was Death.  On the outside, VMI’s standard Blu-ray comes with an appealing touchup of the killer in full dress from the chest-up, singled out by a black background and the title just overhead.  The disc is pressed with the same image with no other tangible features.  The film is not rated with region free capabilities and has a runtime of 84 minutes.    

Last Rites: “House of Dolls” crumbles as a clunky attempt at a slasher with a twist ending. The story shatters like someone pulling a pin on a grenade and pieces of act structure shrapnel propel in all different directions and never once hit target in the latest from director Juan Salas.

“House of Dolls” Is Ready to Play! Blu-ray Available at Amazon.