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EVIL Needs a Living, Breathing Vessel to be Destroyed! “The Mortuary Assistant” reviewed! (Acorn Media International / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

Recovering drug addict Rebecca Owens finishes her training as a mortuary assistant with praise from her tutor, the owner of the River Fields Mortuary.  On her first solo assignment, a late-night double embalming, Rebecca finds it unusual she must embalm as well as incinerate the corpses.  The bizarre aspects of the night don’t stop there as the corpses seemingly move in what seems to be very real and frightening hallucinations after she wakes up in her apartment bed.  Her employer, Raymond, owner of the River Fields Mortuary, ensures her what she’s experienced and the visions are very real as a demon possesses the mortuary, easily inhabiting the lifeless bodies but trying to permanently attach itself to one of the livings.  Having been targeted himself, Raymond’s been able to avoid possession by way of ritual but can’t fully banish the demon without Rebecca’s assistant with a reagent formula he must obtain from living people caught in the middle.  As Rebecca returns to the mortuary to try to unlatch herself from the demon’s grasp, she must attempt to capture the demon in a corpse by using her own ritualized-infused blood and then incinerate the corpse to ashes, but the demon won’t go down without a fight. 

Based on the 2022 popular horror role-playing game of the same title that was developed by Brian Clarke of DarkStone Digital and published by DreadXP, the video game department of the horror network and news outlet Dread Central, “The Mortuary Assistant” 2026 film adaptation brings virtual mortician madness to the big screen with all its demonic appurtenances with Clark penning the script alongside co-writer Tracee Beeb and “Slapface” director, Jeremiah Kipp, calling the shots.  The Dread presented movie is released under Dread’s parent company, Epic Pictures Group, since they already own the rights to the video game and attempt to bring the creepy mortuary atmospherics and terrifying twitching corpses from the first-person perspective game to a third person perspective film narrative.  Creative Capital and regular Dread co-production collaborator, Traverse Media, serve as production studios with Patrick Ewald, Jake Heineke, and Cole Payne in the producer role.

The video game characters, Rebecca and Raymond, and you can also through in the demon too, transition to the film with Willa Holland (“Straw Dogs,” “Legion”) as the green Rebecca Owens alone on her first shift, getting her hands dirty with the insides of corpses and dodging demonic aggressions with half-baked rituals and spells by her mortician employer/demon fighter Raymond, played by Paul Sparks (“Headspace”).  Sparks carries himself plainly through what should be a more interesting, puzzling peculiar as a deadpan mortician business owner with a rich background in demonology and a two-bit exorcist.  Instead, rooting for spark in Sparks’ performance can extinguishable hope for Willa Holland who has to carry much of the fanaticism and strength, as well as fear, as a woman battling demons metaphorically and literally, or perhaps literally battling her demons in an off-the-wagon experience that it becomes metaphorical in her own warped mind.  Either way, the game and it’s characters translate to screen one way or another, supported by pawn characters the demon exploits to gain advantage over Rebecca, such as her grandmother (Shelly Gibson) and her drug addict anonymous sponsor (Keena Ferguson Fraiser), to take powerful, matriarchal and influential people in her life, ones who guide a vulnerable woman, and distort them into traps and hellish visions to break down the young mortician’s self-assurance and ability to tell what’s real or not.   “The Mortuary Assistant” rounds out the cast with John Adams, Emily Bennett, Elisa Marti, Mark Steger, Sydney Haner, Brian Clarke, Gabrielle Mathews, Adam Woolley, and Michael W. Crowley.

Having never played the video game, which is widely available on multiple consoles and platforms, such as PlayStation 4 and 5, XBOX One and Series X/S, Windows PC, and Nintendo Switch, the movie has all the hallmarks of what makes people’s fears tick: that innate fear of mortality of your corpse lying motionless on a cold, sterile table, environmental atmospherics of a stormy, dark night, demonic mischief that puppeteers and malevolently toys, paganistic folklore and ritual, the lack of hope, religion, and God, dark shadows and slithers of steely lighting, and an overall sense of cynical dread.  Yet, somehow, “The Mortuary Assistant,” the movie, feels terribly clunky after a satisfying disturbing creepy setup that includes the ghastliness of mortician embalming process.  The story’s second half, and more definitively in its third act, loses traction and falls to pieces in it’s trying to explain too much with too little information of the game’s evolving plotline.  The game works well because of it’s lingering through the narrative, letting fear settle in before unleashing bit-by-bit it’s unearthing of secrets.  The film adaptation rushes through climatic guts to make possible the many several hours’ worth of game endings to be comprehendible in under an hour and half.   Aside from the cliff fall finale, the atmospherics are palpable and the blood and gore, mostly perforating of corpses with a cannula and some of their exposed viscera, has sticky-icky and fleshy texture. 

The Shudder Original presentation comes to UK Blu-ray from Acorn Media International.  The AVC encoded, 1080p hi-def resolution, BD25 is on the smaller side of disc capacity for decoding and with an array of textures – from clammy skin of a corpse to the burnt amber of blood – “The Mortuary Assistant” Blu-ray teeters the meticulous detai line as if it wants to show you all the glossy and gooey innards but can’t quite flesh them out.  No issues with decoding albeit some negative spaces do seem lightly washed and not fully inky to create the possibility of the unknown within the blackness.  The Blu-ray has a 2.35:1 aspect ratio presentation to take the smaller confines of a quaint mortuary and have them seem more imposing and closeups a made to be like the surface of alien planets when covering cold corpses, really blowing up the image in greater, better detail.  The English DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio provides crystal clear composition of layers with unobstructed and robust dialogue that can reproduce the resonating monotone of Paul Sparks, an eclectic layering of sounds between the storming elements of non-diegetic weather to the transfixing squishiness and cannula friction of the embalming process that can get under your skin, pun intended.  The soundtrack by Jeffrey Alan Jones, who did ADR mixing on “Obsession” as well as compose scores for many indie horrors over the last two decades, is a bit lackluster and doesn’t become its own distinctive character within its pedestrian horror tones.  English SDH and French subtitles are available for selection.  Special features only include a behind-the-scenes featurette on the static menu that goes briefly into the game and the making of the film.  The physical Blu-ray Amaray comes standard with monochrome sleeve art that’s blue and black and barely definable.  There are no other tangible elements in the exterior and interior of the release.  The UK certified 18 release has strong injury detail and has a runtime of 91 minutes in its region B playback only.

Last Rites: “The Mortuary Assistant” is one of those videogame adaptations that probably should have stayed as a videogame. Plenty of atmospheric tropes to make it haunting and spooky, but too many core story elements and not enough cohesive tape to make “The Mortuary Assistant” work.

It’s in Human Nature to be EVIL! “Cradle of Fear” reviewed! (Unearthed Films / 2-Disc Limited Edition Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cradle of Fear” Available on a 2-Disc Unearthed Films Release!

Occultist and hypnotician Kemper has been locked away in a criminal asylum for years for a gruesome series of murders, involving not only men and women but also some children.  Kemper seethes against the arresting and prosecuting team who = put him away.  Able to sneak out a list of targets and their addresses, Kemper uses his black magic lineage to carry out revenge on his behalf, a violent revenge on the loved ones of who incarcerated him to a life in imprisonment.  Four gruesome assassins through Kemper’s supernatural means leaves a body trail for eccentric Inspector Neilson whose unusual investigative methods has him highly sensitive to the case and his temper has him in the crosshairs of his commanding supervisor.  With no leads on how Kemper is committing a new string of gruesome crimes, Neilson pieces together that all the victims are related to the case that put Kemper away and when his son becomes the last target, Neilson goes to extreme lengths to see the serial killer is put down for good. 

A gory and cynical narrative of indelicate irony, “Cradle of Fear” is the British, anthological horror that speaks to the insidiously widespread evil that courses through the inevitable fallible and immoral side of human nature, leaving no good deed unpunished in its circumference of supernatural punitive karma.  The early 2000s anthology is written and directed by Alex Chandon, director behind the 1980s sex comedies “The Perv Parlor” and “Pervirella” as well as directing select music videos for the UK extreme black metal band Cradle of Filth, whose Goth-cladded lead signer Dani Filth stars in the film and is the poster boy for film art, hence the title’s similarity to the band’s name.  Eddie Kane, Ciska Faulkner, and Nico Rilla produced the film with Paul Luke and Andy Skivington serving as executive producers for the Pragmatic Pictures production. 

Aforementioned, Dani Filth stars as the ghoul with the ultimate evil of transforming his human form into a demonic creature that can rip to shreds those unlucky to be in his path, the opening gives us a glimpse into his power by viciously terminating two would-be, back-alley muggers.   From there, the story goes into the gruesome crime scene of two young women (Emily Bouffante, “Evil Aliens,” and Melissa Forti) laid strewn with their innards outwards and inspector Neilson (Edmund Dehn, “The Containment”) copping a feel as his way of rain-manning the scene.  Their end first storyline begins the moment the two goth club women were fated for untimely demise when they spotted Filth’s more-goth-then-they-are The Man.  Eventually, Inspector Neilson figures out the victims are connected by their last names and those related to trial participants with the next tales of sharing ill-fated death in the ghastliest and most gruesome ways, anthological style.  Another two women (Rebecca Eden, “Pervirella,” and Emma Rice) try to nick an old-timer of his bed stashed savings but find there is no honor between the combination of friends and thieves, an amputee (Louie Brownsell) murders an acquaintance to use his leg for longshot transplant only to have his leg reject in the most horrifying way, and a officer man (Stuart Laing, “Lie Still”) risks everything in life to get his rocks off gawking at online snuff films only to find himself in one!  There’s also the wrap around story that peppers transition scenes in between to bridge gaps and bring the short stories together into one long feature.  Kemper is the story’s chief antagonist but isn’t the only bad guy in the narrative but is our resemblance of a hero Inspector Neilson’s force to stop as the inspector doesn’t really just how purely symbolizing the embodied of pure evil Kemper really is perhaps even the Devil himself, as the orchestrator is the marionette pulling the strings that leaves Neilson chasing his tale.  Performances all around are gritty, apathetic, cynical, and mean that leaves no ounce of hope or feel-good intentions.

The early short films are not set up with Kemper as the man behind the curtain and this can put some confusion into the mix with seemingly rough transitions from one story to the next.  Plus, the non-linear first film isn’t mirrored into the other three, leaving the first third of the movie wandering, or grasping, to cling to something whole.  By the end of the second short, “Cradle of Fear” levels and becomes clear that an anthology is playing out with each tale containing a formula narrative:  a setup, the rising action or transgression, a brief, jovial high, and then it all comes crashing with gory horror.  The gore is a blend between practical and composite VFX that gets away with a range of simple stab wounds to more complicated head popping deaths while the visual effects has obvious green screen incongruity but dishes some devilish effects from deformed spider-like legs sprawled out from a half-severed head to some shoddy-level effects like a European car flying through and crashing through traffic.  What’s ingrained in the gore and horror is the sex, an element that’s immensely weighed in “Cradle of Fear’s” content that showcases scenes of sensual romance, to gratuitous nudity, to tasteful moments but keep the skin touched upon at least once in every episode.  “Cradle of Fear’s” circulated theme speaks toward the persistence and ever-present evil that’s within us all and from within it can’t be contained as human nature is ultimately fallible and every soul can be conditioned to expel the verhy worst in us all. 

Unearthed Films “Credle of Fear” arrives onto Blu-ray home video with a new 2-Disc, limited-edition collector’s set release encoded with AVC onto a BD25 and presented in an European widescreen of 1.66:1 aspect ratio with 1080p, high-definition resolution.  The 2-Disc set has for a long time seemingly vanished out of Unearthed Films’ newly released lineup, aside from the dual-format releases but it’s nice to see a comeback that’s more special features driven rather than playback format.  The dark grading leads to plenty of finer detail loss but the film has clear delineation and when it is key lit, textures flourish.  With a color scheme of mostly darker shades, keeping in line with its bleak noir tone and the gothic model, this early 2000’s horror fashions a polished veneer as one of the earlier pioneers of digital capturing.  The CGI is not at its finest being that it’s early early 2000’s VFX tech and on a budget too nonetheless and you can the shift in reality whenever the effect is composited into a scene.  Depth is mostly retained for closeups and medium closeup shots as Chandon’s does stylize quite a bit with fade in and outs, negative images, lighting, slow-motion, and various edits to make a swirl of designer continuity.  The British English audio is encoded with an uncompressed PCM 2.0 stereo.  Strong dialogue track doesn’t clash with the imposed, arterial soundtrack comprised of industrial goth and rock bands including Cradle of Filth, for obvious reasons, and The Dark Poets, Jezebel, Slacker, Lungworm, Intense, Quicksilver, and Crotchet.  Often, the ambience and Foley has chaotic aversion to one another that disrupt the audiological flow of the film, except for a few excellently crafted scenes such as Mel’s walk Emily Bouffante’s walk through the downtown area and see demon faces is harmonized very well.  The Foley can be slapstick at times with hits to the body being overexaggerated with cartoonish tones.  English subtitles are available on the feature disc. Disc one contains some ride-along aspecial features, including a brief making-of, a second behind-the-scenes Important Words that has direct Alex Chandon and cast members rambling about other topics rather than being topically relevant to the film, the German DVD making-of the feature, a behind-the-scenes gallery, and three original trailers for the film.  Disc two is mainlhy comprised off Alex Chandon’s short films – “Chainsaw Scumfuck,” “Bad Manor,” “Bad Karma,” “Drillbit,” “Night Pastor,” “Bullshit News,” and “Borderline.”  Also included is a promo for Film Extremes 3, outtakes for the shorts, a behind-the-scenes gallery for the shorts, and their trailers.  Packaging includes a traditional Blu-ray Amaray with new composition cover art on a one-sided sleeve.  The limited-edition O-ring slipcover contains the same primary image.  The discs are held in place on the inner layer of the Ameray with snaplocks and pressed with controversial and provocative imagery including a bloodied baby head and an illustrated eviscerated naked woman.  The region A locked film has a runtime of 120 minutes and is unrated. 

Last Rites: “Cradle of Fear” rocks the anthological horror subgenre not to sleep but to give rise to the killer instinct from within and to show the self-inflicted suffering from the innate debasement in the dark recesses of our soul.

“Cradle of Fear” Available on a 2-Disc Unearthed Films Release!

Sex-Crazed EVIL Goes to an All-Girl School! “Delinquent School Girls” reviewed! (VCI Entertainment / Dual Format Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Delinquent School Girls” on Blu-ray and DVD from VCI Entertainment!

Three insane asylum inmates incarcerated for their perversive and deviant acts escape their small confines of a cell and the electroshock abuse.  On the run, the people they encounter to pillage what they need find themselves either enamored with them in drink and spirit as well as the initially force exploitative intercourse that becomes more pleasurable and desired.  When they invade the outskirts of an all-girls private school, they stumble upon an elder biology professor taking advantage of a roofied young admirer, two busty kitchen cooks giving them only minor trouble before having their way them, and two poolside lasses eager to be pleased.  When they encounter what remains of the student body left behind on holiday leave in the gymnasium, the group of voluptuous young women are subjected to the whims of the maniacs before they fight back with their learned karate lessons as they spill out of their karate uwagi jackets. 

There’s no decade genre that can more outrageous and controversial than the scantily-cladded, seventies exploitation and Greg Corarito’s 1975 “Delinquent School Girls” fits the bill with sexed-up prison escapees finding themselves fleeing into the sheltering arms of half-naked and promiscuously feisty schoolgirls.  Also known around the world as “Carnal Madness,” and more selectively, alternatively titled as “The Love Maniacs,” “The Sizzlers,” and “Bad Girls,” the film is a mix between sexploitation and crude comedy, penned by the American B-movie and pornographic director of “The Sadistic Hypnotist” and “Hard on the Trail” Corarito and alongside fellow adult oriented filmmaker John Lamb (“The Starlets”) and Maurice Smith (“The Joys of Jezebell,” “Love, Swedish Style”).  Riding the Russ Meyer gravy train of slapstick sleaze and high energy antics, Smith and Lamb also serve as producers of the film that was shot under by Alpha Productions in Santa Barbara, California. 

Not to be taken overly seriously, despite its licentious context of male prisoners holding hostage and raping women, “Delinquent School Girls” isn’t centrically focused on the schoolgirls although the title suggests as such.  The attention is mostly set on the three fugitives absconding from law enforcement and these are not just any prisoners; these are demented sex maniacs.  While the label is perversely provoking, only one of them is truly aberrant in his hunt for the opposite sex.  Being more of the muscle and the muscular brute of the group is Bob Minor (“Coffy,” “Foxy Brown”).  A regular actor in early blaxploitation, Minor indulges his character Dick Peters’ sexual deviancies by nearly bedding every woman he encounters and compares himself to being God’s sexual gift to women.  Of course, the women love it because they’re either sexually repressed by low libido men or just naïve and horny.  Peters is not however the leader of the pack, a position taken with great ostentation and theatrical direction by the demanding Carl C. Clooney who talks a good act of deviancy but never really follows through with any carnality.   Clooney is played by Michael Pataki who we just reviewed as a Marlon Brando impersonator in the “The Last Tango in Paris’ sex-spoof, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank,” directed by debuting Charles Band.  Pataki does a fair share of impersonations but none really home in on a certain celeb, but he uses his farcical approach to be the pack leader that calls the shots and reins in a randy Peters with absurd choice considering their fugitive state.  The last of the trio is Stephen Stucker, who you might recognize from the “Airplane” spoof movies as the flamboyant air traffic controller with his trademark androgynous voice and mannerisms, playing the “gay man” of the group and has zilch sexual aggression or desires toward the women.  Considering the female cast there’s isn’t one that stands out as a full-fledged protagonist in what is more of a collective effort amongst the troupe, beginning with some slightly more principal leads in porn star Colleen Brennan, a busy and fiery redhead who takes no crap from a male dominated society.  Before full transitioning to the adult industry with such titles as “Daisy Chain,” “Maid in Manhattan,” and “Tower of Power,” Brennan was at the cusp of sexploitation with genre films like Russ Meyer’s “Supervixens” and Stu Segalls “The Dirty Dolls.”   Promiscuous women flow left-and-right through the entirety of “Delinquent Schoolgirls” with other notable performances from Zoe Grant, Debbie Raymond, Brenda Miller, Jane Steele, Betty Johnson, Valerie Anderson, Kay Lange, Doree Vega, and nude model with large bombshell breasts, Roberta Pedon.  Ralph Campbell (“Hollywood 90028”) and John Carpenter regular peripheral actor George ‘Buck’ Flower also co-star

“Delinquent School Girls” is pervy but not grossly over-the-top in its sexploitation subgenre.  To counter the depravity and objectification, there’s theatrical melodramatics and plenty of comedy to offset a lopsided licentiousness.  Dick Peters provides the perversion, Carl C. Clooney provides the excessive, madman performance, and Bruce Wilson, played by Stucker, is a riot of feminine mannerisms and one-liners without being an oversized caricature of a gay man on screen.  The trio is almost like a ruffian version of the Three Stooges without the eye-poking, forehead slapping, hair pulling slapstick.  Clooney and gang are also a traversal entity, meaning they travel from their escaped holding cells to the school for troubled girls in a when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object scenario as the escapees run-through and overcome all obstacles in their path – an old man and his sexually frustrated wife, a roofie slipping biology teacher and his unconscious pupil, two feisty kitchen maids – until they meet the school age women in the middle of nightly karate class nonetheless.  That’s where the buck stop and the rebellion against the convict’s joyride comes to halt and in the middle is all the sullied interactions that kind of wind up being turned onto a corrected head – the sexually frustrated wife gets her fill while the husband gets amiably drunk with the two holding him hostage, the roofied girl is saved from a snake stimulated biology teacher and rapist, and the two kitchen maids happily share meal around a card table after being ravaged with no complaints.  While contextually the subject matter can be dark and sharp, “Delinquent School Girls” has a good-natured attitude about the whole ordeal that makes this emotional calorie intake all the lighter. 

Jumping jack jugs that spill right out, upskirts of high school schoolgirl outfits, and plenty of long-legged, bare-chest exposure, “Delinquent School Girls” bares the mark of sexploitation with pride and caters to a comedy that neutralizes the often shame audiences that comes with bleak and hard to swallow the exploitation of a slew of sexpot ladies in the film.  The first film on the Psychotronica label from VCI Entertainment, “Delinquent School Girls” arrives on a 2-dsic, dual-formatted, DVD and Blu-ray set.  The AVC encoded BD25 has a 1080p, high-definition resolution and the DVD is MPEG2 encoded DVD5 with an upscaled 720p standard definition.  The Blu-ray edges out the DVD counterpart with better clarity around the often congested in variables and in the restored 4K scanned transfer of the original 35mm negative that never provides a consistent detail quality or color.  Some cells appear yellowish, others are often speckled by blow up, a few has lighter contrasts that bleed and meld objects, but there are more scenes of well-delineated and detailed-oriented scenes that granular specifics on skin and textures.  Night sequences are hit-or-miss with a chiaroscuro lighting of key areas, such as Roberta Pedon’s extremely large and oval shaped breasts.  VCI transfer does it’s best to refine the cheaply and does a good job reconditioning previous home video versions, retaining healthy grain, some speckling, and little-to-no damage or compression follies.  The uncompressed English track, a LPCM 2.0 mono, is centered inlaid and focused but discerns any ensuing chaos well enough to provide distinct entities without being a cacophony.  Dialogue comes over clear and distinct; we get some real nice clarity and vocal difference from the three very contrasting convicts with their personalities.  There’s not in the depth or range department as medium shots are often overlaid with voiceover dialogue and range is limited to the Foley wallops of kicks and punches.  English subtitles are optional available on each disc.  Special features are included on each disc as well and they include an archived commentary by actor Bob minor with Los Angeles-based documentarian Elijah Drenner hosting, Pscyhotronica:  Dive into Cult Cinema featurette, and original trailers for the film.  The release comes in a traditional Blu-ray Amaray with reversible sleeve artwork containing pieces of original artwork.  Both discs are region free for the rated R release that has a softcore runtime of 89 minutes.

Last Rites: A comedy first with perversities as a secondary, “Delinquent School Girls” is a gambol of a good time in its eccentric and wanton unprincipled behaviors, saturated with feminine succulence and dastardly deviance.

“Delinquent School Girls” on Blu-ray and DVD from VCI Entertainment!

The Mountains Are Alive With the Sound of EVIL! “Cold Prey” trilogy reviewed! (Second Sight Films / 3-Disc Limited Edition Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“Cold Prey” limited edition trilogy set! Get it while it lasts!

Five snowboarding friends travel to a remote mountain to shred the best scenic power Norway has to offer.  When one of them hurts their leg, the group hunkers down in an abandoned hotel for the night, a hotel with a horrible history of a child and his parents who went mysteriously missing decades earlier.  As the night carries on, a mountain man living underneath the main floor hunts them down.  A lone survivor of the night is taken to a closing down hospital with a skeleton crew.  The mountain man had followed her, prolonging her ordeal of terror, and continues his murderous killing spree through a new batch of medical staff and police officers.  Decades earlier, the mountain man’s abused backstory sets a coming-of-age path of homicidal tendencies as he lives in the woods 12 years later after departing his parents and the hotel.  A group of hikers wander into his woods where he can’t differentiate man from animal game and begins his thirst for the kill that would claim the lives of many years to come.

What I’ve just given is the three basic plotlines for all three of the Cold Prey films, a trio of Norwegian-made slashers with a murderous mountain man at the center of it all.  Including a sequel and a prequal, the films were all produced in a relatively short amount of time of four years between 2006 and 2010.  For the original film, Thomas Moldestad (“The Conference”) wrote the script based off a story he wrote alongside Martin Sundland (“The Wave”) and Roar Uthaug, the latter directed the film and would later go on to direct the 2018 reboot of “Tomb Raider” with Alicia Vikander in the Lara Croft role.  The sequel, “Cold Prey 2,” directly follows the first film but helmed by a different director in Mats Stenberg with Moldestad returning to pen the project.  The prequel innately disconnects the continuous nature of Cold Prey I and II for more history on the homicidal mountaineer with Sundland taking a backseat story idea role to Peder Fuglerud and Lars Gudmestad with Mikkel Braenne Sandernose bringing up the rear in the director’s chair.  The real-world location used in all three shoots was the Jotunheimen mountains and the studios connected to each project are Helgeland Film, SF Norge A/S, Norsk Filmstudio, Film i Väst, Storyline Studios and with the Norsk Filmstudio subsidiary, Fantefilm, involved in all three as the movie’s presenting studio. 

Ingrid Bolsø Berdal (“Chernobyl Diaries”), Thomas Alf Larsen (“Troll Hunter”), Viktoria Winge (“Inside the Whore”), Rolf Kristian Larsen, and Endre Martin Midtstigen play the five friends venturing to the mountains to shred some nice powder but wind up finding themselves stranded with a madman in their company.  That madman is played by Rune Melby, not to be confused with Sweden’s national hockey team player of the same name, to impose his large stature and husky look to be a formidable, silent antagonist that doesn’t need vocals to be threatening.  Surface level inspect of “Cold Prey” has it pegged as another typical slasher but this slasher rolls back the tropes, desaturating the themes and motifs to a reasonable amount and in a more realistic approach rather than having established personas, such as the nerd, jock, slut, etc., having gratuitous sex scene moments, and reduce the bonehead moves that ultimately result in their demise.  The sequel houses a new cast apart from Ingrid Bolsø Berdal making her return as a survivor recovering in a soon-to-be-closed hospital following the events of the first film.  She’s joined by Martha Snorresdotter Rovik, Fridtjov Såheim, and Johanna Mørck as the skeleton crew hospital staff, Kim Arne Hagen as Camilla’s boyfriend and utility emergency service person, Mats Eldøen, Per Schaanning, Andreas Cappelen, and Mads Sjøgård Pettersen as the limited bandwidth local law enforcement, Vetle Qvenild Werring as a boy patient, and Robert Follin replaces Rune Melby as the killer.  A larger cast equates to a larger body in this direct story follow-up and really capitalizes on the killer’s brute force and unstoppable grit that sets up a delusion of him against the world as a misanthropic maniac with some underlying superhuman force, like we see with Michael Myers. Berdal takes on the true survivor and heroine role helping those unaccustomed to the fight and even takes the fight to her tormentor, solidifying more of the final girl trope.  The rest are stuck in the middle as potential kill fodder and support to provide emotional capital as lives hang in the balance in their various relationships, which reminds me one relationship that’s hint at but never explored is the seemingly undercover or seedlings of affection between two medical staff that is quickly squashed by the rise of a killer in their midst.  The scene interaction would have stirred up controversy wither another involved character but never had a change to be problematic.  The prequel doesn’t involve any returning characters and really invests into the mountain man’s background more.  Played by a different actor in Endre Hellestveit and having an appearance more akin to the WWF Undertaker instead of a pelt and parka-cladded mountain man, each filmic version has varying style that almost feels heavily contrasted to the previous one and that can be jarring to that connective tissue for some.  A new band of friends become the hunted prey as they stumble into the mountain man’s forest home under the rough tutelage of illegal game hunter Jon (Nils Johnson) whose brother, police officer Einar (Terje Ranes), pieces the puzzle together the disappearance of the backpackers and Jon’s involvement in something more than poaching.  The backpackers play more into conventions without many complexities in their depth chart with Ida Maria Bakkerud, Julie Rusti, Kim Falck, Pål Stokka, Arthur Berning, and Sturla Rui are put into the mountain man’s crosshairs.  

As you’ve might have noticed, the prequel doesn’t receive high marks but it’s an entertaining bloodbath nonetheless, overshadow by the predeceasing counterparts because of the developing characters and the more interesting story that plays to a similar tune of the first two “Halloweens” and even more so with the continuation storyline between the first and second film with the latter set inside a sparsely populated hospital that definitely gives off “Halloween II” vibes.  That’s not to say the “Cold Prey” films are a carbon copy of notable classics and their sequels as “Cold Prey” brings a Norwegian staple into play with the summitting Jotunheimen mountains and their existence within that snowy terrain and mountain air, building a story around a mountain code that’s often spoken of, a code about safety that goes in deadly contrast toward the inexperience and nativity of youth believing they’re invincible to their surroundings when in reality mother nature, a natural evil within the mountain man living off the land, leaves more than a dent into their humility.  “Cold Prey” will often feel unoriginal with a severe lack of gore as that has almost become intrinsic to contemporary slashers but it’s refreshing to see a step back in the violence, though it’s nonetheless harsher.  Audiences will not be treated to impact violence that creates squeamish reactions and ghastly shock.  Instead, implied violence is the name of the game that results in the same blood-spattered crime scene look without the initializing, violent show of the blade sliding into the sternum.  These stylistic choices, executed perfectly by DoPs Daniel Voldheim (“Cold Prey”) and Anders Flatland (“Cold Prey 2”) in their camera work and expertly cut by Jon Endre  Mørk, are sold convincingly to ensure death is impenetrable when the pickaxe strikes while still flaunting a good amount of practical effects in makeup wounds, prosthetic props, and gallons of fake blood.  “Cold Prey III” dabbles in the same inferences and off-screne violence but shows a lot more too as we see a machine pierce and then slice away the insides of man and that knife going right int between the rib cage of a poor young woman, keeping up with the times of a modern slasher.  

The three film, Blu-ray set comes from Second Sight Films.  The UK label rolls out the red carpet with their high-definition release that’s an AVC encoded BD50, presenting each film with 1080p resolution and in a compressed widescreen aspect ratio of 2.39:1 to capture the majestic Jotunheimen mountains.  Despite having three different directors of photography in Daniel Voldheim, Anders Flatland, and Ari Willey, each “Cold Prey” entry has the same gray sepia grading with a solid reducing of color saturation in attempt to harness cold and bleak surroundings of a harsher landscape.  IN the same breath, each DoP also tries to make the mountains and forest feel awesome and breathtaking while coursing its perilously imposing strength in size and, ironically enough, confining isolation.  You may find the Blu-ray details and textures on “Cold Prey” and “Cold Prey 2” not to be a sharp as expected for an early mid-2000s slasher as both were shot on 35mm for a better film cell texture rather than a captured texture to accentuate the landscape in a cinematic view rather than the digital polish that often downgrades pictures with a one-note aesthetic.  Since the snowcapped mountains were not used in the prequel, replaced with a forest setting, digital film was used to flesh out more raw textural details amongst the dense foliage and in the midst of a dilapidated mountain property.  No compressions issues in the codec to note.  Each film is fitted with a Norwegian language DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound, suited to bring the soundtrack and the directional tension to the frontlines of the sound design to setup an impacting impression when the action saunters into frame.  Diffused nicely throughout, depth and direction of sound creates not only the atmospheric of a malevolent presence, it also creates environmental anxiety when sounds go bump in the night or just in the abandoned motel or echoing forest setting.  Dialogue is crystal clear and the English subtitles pace well with the speed and have no noticeable grammatical errors.  Each disc comes with its own special features:  “Cold Prey,” Disc one, has a new audio commentary with Director Roar Uthaug and actress Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, a new interview with Uthaug This is the Vibe, a new interview with Ingrid Bolsø Berdal Draw the Process, an alternate ending shown in storyboard that extends the final cut ending, a behind-the-scenes look at the visual FX of the film, additional car scenes, blooper reel, two short films: “Mountain Rose Run Amok” and “An Evening in the Green,” and Bloodlights’ music video for their hit “One Eye Open.”  “Cold Prey 2,” Disc Two, has a new audio commentary with director Mats Stenberg, a new interview with Stenberg A Blessing and a Curse, new interview with actress Berdal Dissociation, a new interview with fomer director turned solely producer Roar Uthaug Stepping Aside, behind-the-scenes, blooper reel, and extended and deleted scenes.  “Cold Prey 3,” Disc 3,” has a new commentary by Christer Andresen and Phillip Escott of an outsiders’ perspective looking in on the film prequel and a behind-the-scenes featurette.  The limited-edition rigid slipbox is massive and perhaps one the biggest physical copies for a 3-disc production.  James Neal provides new artwork for the front cover that truly represents the story as well as the aesthetic to expect.  The trifold jewel snapcase holds all three discs and have dramatic character portrays from all three films.  Also inside are 5 collector art cards and a 120-page book with new essays from Matt Donato, J.A. Kerswell, Just LaLiberty, Paul Le, Ariel Powers-Schaub, and Nathaniel Thompson, plus the book comes with new artwork, stylized stills, cast and crew acknowledgements, and Blu-ray production acknowledgments and thanks.  The Blu-ray holds a UK certified 15 rating for strong horror, bloody violence, language, sexual threat, injury and abusive behavior.  This particular release is region locked on B and has a total runtime of 278 minutes.

Last Rites: The “Cold Prey” trilogy doesn’t flash new spins on the slasher genre that’s as old as horror itself. Instead, “Cold Prey” a satisfactory slasher that scratches the killer maniac itch with its mountainman maniac!

“Cold Prey” limited edition trilogy set! Get it while it lasts!

A Homosexual Hooks Up with a Porn Star and Treats Her EVILLY Sleazy. “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” reviewed! (Full Moon Features / Blu-ray)

Posted by Steven Lewis on

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!

In the fictious setting of Burbank, France, a distraught and wandering Paul grieves over the loss of his gay, drag queen lover.  Wallowing in despair as well as barely entertaining his lover’s mother, Paul is on a half-hearted hunt for a new apartment and runs into Jeannine when the two meet looking at the same rental.  A mostly sexualized relationship ensues at the apartment with Paul treating the beautiful French woman and aspiring adult star like a piece of meat in a homosexual way, stemmed by his inadequacies in bed.  Jeanne, becoming fed up with Paul’s obsessive and polarizing behavior during their romantic tryst, lashes out in various ways, one as a gun-toting adult starlet that makes shooting scenes with her all that more dangerous to one’s health.  Paul’s health too becomes a target as Jeanne’s ultimate distaste for his floundering and obsessive ways, especially in condemning her pornographic lifestyle.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burback” is a film Charles Band (“Puppet Master”) desperately tried to erase and forget along with then newcomer editor, “Halloween’s” John Carpenter, as both filmmakers disassociated and disavowed its existed because of a couple reasons:  1) the romantic satirical spoof was not a horror/sci-fiction film both of them wanted to make at the time and 2) audiences were not appreciating it’s parodical and fleshy colored luster.  The film it removes inspirational humorous bones from is Marlon Brando’s “The Last Tango in Paris,” helmed by Bernardo Bertolucci who is dug a path of steamy sexual dramas, including “Stealing Beauty” and “The Dreamers.”  “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” aimed to capitalize on its 1972 pushing-the-boundaries of sexualization success with writers Bill Haggard and Sam Vaughn behind the screenplay pages.  Band produced the film with filming held in Los Angeles and Marc Perilli serving as executive producer under the Federal Film Incorporation.

In his best Marlon Brando impersonation, Michael Pataki (“Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers,” “The Baby”) opens his pastiche performance with hyperbole and flamboyance to emulate his version Paul to Brando’s version of Paul while still dishing the Brando-isms and deliveries.  Pataki also opens his trench coat to open-faced frontal nudity.  Yet, the one who is mostly nude is Sherry Denton in the role of Frenchwoman Jeanne.  Her role does harness the same essence of “The Last Tango in Pari’s” Maria Schneider, making Denton’s Jenne harder to define as she absorbs Paul’s verbal and emotional abuse, as she contemplates their arranged sexual rendezvous against her emotional withstand all, and how she manages a life in the adult industry as a sex object that runs parallel with being too a sex object outside the profession.  Pataki and Denton’s scenes together resemble that of a mother humoring a spoiled child.  Denton’s rather levelheaded compared to a full-blown exaggeration of Marton Brando in Michael Pataki with acute yelling spats and irrational sex requests that bleed into pleading and disappointment on a childish person of imprudence.  The gut punch of obsession, desire, and more refined melodrama is lost within Band’s spoof in a combination of bad writing and missed opportunities to sell the performances.  While this version of “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is not the pornographic scene splice in version, the actors still must be comfortable with each other in the story’s requirement of genitalia proximity and exposure as some scenes can be often graphic in its simulation of sex as well as be humiliating.  The cast rounds out with Merlouch Drabin, Sally Marr (“Young Lust”), Simmy Bow, and I. William Quinn (“Alligator”).

Supposedly, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a shot-for-shot spoof but Charles Band’s picture has jagged edges around a nonconformist narrative whereas “The Last Tango in Paris” abides by more linear storytelling.  The gags are not particular funny unless you’ve seen the Brando film and have a puerile sense of humor, but even then, the gags are terribly heavy fisted in a strive to really make light of sexual casualness and obsession in a conduit of Brando’s mumble and gravelly discord with the occasional outburst of hyperbolic flair.  For those who haven’t seen the Brando film, “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” will be totally lost without a reference, especially the France set story shows it’s budget with the English-laden business and directional signs that play into the running gag of the fictious city that combines Burbank, California and Paris, France.   One could see why Charles Band and John Carpenter wanted to disassociate and distance themselves from this film but for both filmmakers, it’s a significant first film that kind of redirected their career paths when they knew comedy, such as this one, wasn’t their forte.  Charles Band even went as far as destroying all copies of the film and changing his name to a pseudonym, Carlo Bokino, to erase all involvement but he unsuccessful and a print was discovered unphased by his attempts to eradicate all known evidence.  Today, Band accepts his first film and even catalogue’s it with a No. 0 on the spine that makes it official Charlie canon. 

The first official and unofficial film of Charles Band’s career comes to Blu-ray home video from Band’s Full Moon Features in an unlikely genre release from the horror and science fiction regular.  The AVC encoded, 1080p high-definition, BD25 comes uncut and uncensored, transferred from an original negative donated from the UCLA archives under an anonymous donor.  Not much is stated here about what kind of a transfer we’re treated but the 2K scan appears adequate with a freshened image with moderate color saturation and details.  There are times the image appearance has a slightly faded realism, similar to that of William Friedkin’s “The French Connection” where details can be soft at times and ungraded.  Most scenes are better than not with palpable textures around more closeups and medium shots.  Skin tones are little more on the orange side, likely due to the chemical dye in the exposure that has an orange base which results in a natural, fringed tint.  The Blu-ray is presented in a widescreen aspect ratio 1.78:1.  Audio comes with an English LPCM 5.1 and a Stereo 2.0.  Both audio formats provide a crisp track of a dialogue, ambience, and what soundtrack is present, but the surround sound does little to enhance the film with its lack of off-camera or multi-directional scenes with mostly centered performances by the actors and not a ton of action.  The stereo 2.0 suffices.  No hissing or crackling present and the interference is kept to a suitable minimum to digest all its wacky dialogue.  The physical presence of Full Moon’s Blu-ray runs the same course as the others with a standard Amaray Blu-ray case and single-sided sleeve art with no other tangible attributes.  The nearly full-bodied orange colored sleeve mirrors “The Last Tango in Paris’” art to an extent and Full Moon uses stills with nudity on the back cover as an added perk.  The 56 minute Blu-ray, shorter because the cut of the hardcore inserts, is rated R and unlocked for multi-region playback. 

Last Rites: “The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” is a hard sell with its flat lampooning of “The Last Tango in Paris.” A handful of sleaze to be had but there’s nothing more cringy than watching histrionics for an extremely niche market.

“The Last Foxtrot in Burbank” Finally Recognized by Charles Band and Full Moon Features!